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Introduction
Welcome to today’s blog post, sparked by a thought-provoking conversation with a dear friend. Life, the ever-mysterious journey, never ceases to surprise us. My friend recently observed a transformation in me, noting a shift from darkness to light in our dialogues. This shift, she attributed it to happiness. But what is happiness? Is it a tangible state of being or an elusive concept we chase? Can we truly experience it in its entirety or is it just a fleeting moment? Intriguingly, she pinpointed the beginning of this transformation to a concert I attended earlier this year. It’s these puzzling questions and observations that we’ll be unpacking in this post. Let’s dive into the exploration of happiness.
Wicked Sense of Humor
Life, as we all know, has a wicked sense of humor. It’s like that friend who thinks it’s hilarious to hide your keys. Then, they watch you tear the house apart. Only later do they reveal they had the keys all along. This past week, I was having one of those “deep thoughts” chats with my bestie. It was the kind where you ponder the meaning of life over a questionable number of takeout. She dropped a bombshell: apparently, I’ve transformed. “It’s good to see you’re happy,” she said, with this annoyingly insightful look. “Happy?” I croaked, like a frog who’d just swallowed a kazoo. “Yes,” she insisted, “Remember when our conversations were therapy sessions in disguise? Now it’s all sunshine, rainbows, and a disturbing amount of confidence.” She pointed to a concert I attended this past spring as ground zero for this “happy apocalypse.” This sent my brain into a tailspin, a philosophical free fall. What is happiness, anyway? Is it like Bigfoot? Everyone talks about it, but does it exist?
Seismic Shift
To understand this seismic shift in my emotional landscape, you need the backstory. It’s the tragic opera that was my life nine years ago. Cue the dramatic music: my aunt passed away in the summer. Then, six months later, my mother decided to join the celestial choir. I became officially, utterly, and profoundly lost. It was like someone had unplugged my emotional GPS. My identity, you see, was built on a foundation of maternal approval. Everything I did, every questionable decision, was fueled by the desire to make my mom proud. Then she was gone. I belatedly realized she was probably proud of me even when I was, say, trying to deep-fry a Twinkies. She lifted me up like the wind beneath my wings. She pushed me off the metaphorical cliff. It didn’t matter whether I was ready to fly or plummet. Losing her felt like losing the instruction manual to my own existence. So, yeah, I kinda died inside.
Philosophical Pow-Wow
Back to my friend and our philosophical pow-wow. “Gees,” I confessed, channeling my inner Eeyore, “I can’t remember a time when I was genuinely happy.” It’s bonkers, isn’t it? That I didn’t realize how close I was to having a “Danger: Do Not Enter” sign taped to my forehead. I wrote a blog about some of my changes in “Repair My Armor.” You know how it’s not official until it’s on the internet. But saying it out loud to a real, live human? It’s like suddenly realizing your socks don’t match. The more we talked, the more my newfound confidence became apparent, like a disco ball in a dimly lit room. For the first time, I was sure of my future. Weirdly, I was happy about the steps I’d taken to get there. My spiritual side, too, had undergone a glow-up. I’m all about trusting my gut now. I am seeing the “signs,” which point towards a life that’s less “apocalyptic wasteland.” It is more like a “slightly less apocalyptic wasteland.” My friend, understandably, was intrigued. “So, what happened at that concert?” she pressed, like a detective interrogating a suspect. “Nothing really,” I shrugged, trying to downplay the life-altering event. “Just a joyous evening filled with love, compassion, and great music. Everyone was on the same page, all just having a good time.” Then, I took a moment for shameless self-promotion. I said, “To understand how significant this experience was, read my blog.” (Spoiler alert: you’re already here!)
Looking Back
Looking back, I realized it was time for me to finally listen. I needed to hear the message the universe was trying to send through a power ballad. I’m a firm believer that God put us in places we need to be. I was ready for a change. I was open to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, life wasn’t a constant exercise in existential dread. Leaving that concert, I made a conscious decision. I chose to let go of the emotional baggage I’d been carrying around like a particularly grumpy Sherpa. The biggest suitcase? The horrific loss of my mother. Watching her suffering in her final years was a weight that crushed my soul. I was incredibly selfish. I begged her to stay and endure the pain simply because I wasn’t ready to let go. But here’s the truth bomb: my mother is in a happier place. She’s where she wanted to be, reunited with her sisters, brothers, and parents. And that knowledge? That’s what sets me free, that’s what fills my heart with a joy that doesn’t involve questionable substances.
Conclusion
So, here’s my profound conclusion, the culmination of all this navel-gazing: I don’t think “true happiness” is a thing. It’s like chasing a unicorn riding a rainbow. I’ve stopped looking at happiness as some unattainable destination. Instead, I see it as the journey to peace. I’ve finally found a space. It’s a sliver of time where I can exist without the constant background noise of anger and pain. I’m no longer terrified of the future, which is a major upgrade from my previous state of “existential panic.” Of course, life is still working in progress, like a never-ending home renovation project. But the things I used to crave – fleeting pleasures, external validation – don’t hold the same allure. It’s the love and support of my family and friends, the simple act of human connection, that truly comforts me. And that, my friends, is a damn good thing.
Now, go forth and be kind to each other. And maybe listen to some power ballads. You never know what life-altering messages they might contain.