Hello everyone, I don’t know where to start in regards to this blog post. This issue has been a thorn in my side for a long time all my adult life. It’s been a topic of conversation too many time including just recently this AM at the watercooler of social media. Let me start with this, I really don’t like it when my “friend” introduce me as “oh meet my black white friend”. REALLY, that’s how your gonna roll? Reading through the comments on my social media (sunnylarue on facebook), I notice a few people don’t get why this is such an issue for me and why I get so offended by this and because of that I thought this would be a good blog to chat about.
Rencontrez mon ami noir et blanc French for “Oh Meet My Black White Friend” I am one of 26 people in this group of friends, friends we have been for over 10 years plus (sorry for sounding a bit yoda-ish), we go back to Jr High School and Grade School, this one person always introduce me as the “the black white friend”. Always singling me out. In this group my friends are diverse. She goes on to say “this is one I told you about who loves Def Leppard, who don’t like watermelon. Have you ever met a black person who don’t like watermelons? She don’t like rap music she don’t speak slang (ebonics) and she only dates white men”. This friend is Armenian, so you would think given her background she would know better. At first I thought maybe she has something against me or don’t like me or something I did that I don’t realize I’ve done, there’s a underlining thing that we need to work out but after having numerious conversations about this issue she continues to say these things. She just don’t get it.
False statement; I don’t only date white men I married to a hispanic ended in divorce and the love of my life was a white guy and since his departure (RIP), I dated every type and race of man known to humans. In fact I dated short, tall, thick, thin, muscle head, nerds, geek, professional business men, long haired, short haired, bald, Asian, Black, White, Hispanic, Muslin, Armenian, African, and European. My dating resume includes a guy I dated for 2 years Asian, when we broke up we remained friends years later he called to share the news that he’s gay asking for my advice on how to come out to his family. Another man I dated for 6 months African, he wanted to marry me take me back to his village and sell me for 6 oxen why because American women fetch a handsome price. I got stories and she knows these stories considering we been friends for years. Sorry I’m digressing,
Who speaks Ebonics these days? Ebonics it’s not a language. In the professional world of employment no one I mean no one is speaking Ebonics. I didn’t get my job with a fortune 500 Enviromental firm solely on my speaking “Ebonics”skills. Forget about my certifications needed to maintain my job, forget about my awards, forget about my college education no it’s my ability to communicate in Ebonics that my employer found attractive.
It’s such a sad state of affairs for me to explain why I don’t like watermelons and it’s not because I’m black and black people should like watermelon, it’s because I don’t like the taste of this fruit it’s that simple. I don’t like drinking water either does that make me less black, not all black people tap dance for watermelon (thank you Kim M.)
As far as not liking rap music another false statement. I have several rap songs in my music library again I don’t know why I have to explain this but okay I’m explaining, like with all music it’s preference. Just because I love Def Leppard, Franz Ferndinand, Barry Manilow, Brian Culbertson, Peter White, Boney James, Madonna and Tina Turner doesn’t make me less of a black person or more white.
I write this blog not out of anger but out of hurt and frustration. Frustration because a friend would do this to me time again even after many conversations and hurt because it hurts my feelings for her to single me out in which now I’m the topic of the conversation at the table and finding myself defending my preferences to a person or persons I just meeting for the first time. Yes it’s very offensive, yes it’s very insensitive and yes this is a form of racism.
“With friends like this who needs enemies”