Today I hit a brick wall. Ran smack face first into this ten foot high wall. I took a step back licking my wombs only to discover this wall is nearly impossible to climb. Dynamic and dramatic as this situation is, I can only appreciate the blinders that cover my eyes. After spending hours trying to find a work-around, I sit and contemplate my next move. Exhausting every avenue, I begin to think how did I get here? Where did this wall come from? As I began to trace my steps back I notice something spectacular, the wall begins to crumble brick by brick tumbling down.
Then I realize this wall is a result of my own creation. I built this wall to protect myself from all the hurt, the pain and the disappointment in my life. While this brick wall served its purpose, I realized as strong as these bricks appeared, the bricks shield me from enjoying of life. Over time my heart became closed, forcing me to turn to my introverted side. I became withdrawn from life. I became too dependent on this wall. I allowed an old shadow of a friend back in Sorrow. When Sorrow paid me a visit, she decided to stay. I mean she moved right in for the long haul. I didn’t put up much of a fight to stop her. We became two peas in a pod, locked together in our misery. Its inevitable, that at some point I would crash.
Why I hit this brick wall now at this very moment? Honestly I don’t have an answer. I guess because I was tired of running or scared to face my fears or look at my reflection in the mirror either way all signs lead me to this moment. Its time to take off the blinders, time to stop running hiding my head in the sand, its time to open my heart. Yes it’s time for Sorrows eviction. It’s time to let all the dark go and let the warmth rays of love fill my soul. Now all is left of this strong ten foot brick wall is just a pile of bricks. Bricks in pieces on the ground reflection of my what my soul once was. Shame on me for closing my eyes too tightly. I can see clearly blues skies ahead.