Today I am feeling lower than I can possibly go. It’s shows. My emotions are compromised and my strength my armor is slowly being chipped away. With every frown or crossed stare I get from the powers to be, a crack appears on my armor. If I stay here in this space, I fear there won’t be anything left. It’s like that situation where you’re in a crowded room enjoying the scene then that evil force walks in sucking all the air and life out that’s how the current work space is. Here it’s quite clear we all play by a different set of rules. I should know this by now. Naivety I hoped things would get better but with each inopportune moment is a slap in the face. Yes they talk a good game but the truth is there’s no room for growth well if you are me in my position. With all my experience the only thing I am good for is to sit here answering the few calls that comes through.
While others are respected and listened to, the favorites play by a different set of rules. When it comes to me in this position is just an open invitation to being the company’s door mat. My voice falls on deaf ears, my tears rolls down my face in a lonely stance. My demeanor still holds on for that tiny hope that one day I will be taken seriously. One day I will be given the opportunity to fly. That I will be valued as a part of the success of this company and not devalued as a human. I am an expressive soul. I am a social person. Yes I am open allowing those who need shelter entrance to an embrace of love, kindness and acceptance. In the face of tyranny, I rather smile instead of frown. In the face of tyranny, I rather be happy instead of sad. And through my pain I choose to inspire. There’s a phoenix inside me, her spirit burning deep boiling coming to the surface. I am Broken but not crippled, sorrowed but not done in and one day that phoenix will burn out supernova across the night sky and you will remember my name.
This short is inspired by latest bout with the She-Devil. We all have have that job that pushes you to the edge. Standing there looking down you decide what will motivating factor in the decision making. For me I refuse to be pushed out especially when the person who is doing the pushing is also my tormentor. I have experienced the She-Devil wraith and endured her brutality during my tender here. There’s a reason why I stay that eventually I will share in more detail when the time is right. For the time being I will endure but not settling for less because when I leave it will be on my own terms and by my own design.
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