Category: Confessions Of A Manic Depressive

ANOTHER MASS SHOOTING It’s Time For Gun Control!

Original Post Date: August 6, 2019

Hello all you masters and mistress of words, here we are again on the mass shooting merry-go-round. This time America got a triple. Two mass shootings within hours of each other and a week from the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting. I’m not going to give a lecture on the importance of gun control because if you read this blog, you’ll see that this debate has been going since the 1966 starting with the shooting at University of Texas.

This blog showcast many of the heartbreaking mass shootings from Columbine to the most tragic Sandy Hook. I often ask the question “how many people have to die before our Government will act. With each administration taking to social media giving a heartfelt condolences, no one bothers to actually come up with more stricter gun laws to prevent more mass shootings.

No trouble individual should has such easy access to guns. Maybe its up to us to take action to help prevent another loss.

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SURVIVING THE CHAOS, Warning Signs of Bipolar Depression

Original Post Date: May 7, 2019

Hello all you masters of words, today I’m feeling a bit down and under the weather.  This week has been very tough in fact, this month has been very tough.  I feel like my words aren’t being heard and I’m falling deeper into my depression.  I put on a brave face, its all an act.  Whenever someone ask how I am doing my generic response is “I’m doing just fine” clearly not true. I should get the Academy Award for best fake-smile. I’m far from being fine. I’m far from being normal, I mean what is normal?  The truth is I’m scared, I feel beat-up and I’m worn-out.  I am terrified of the things I can’t control.  I blogged about this before where there’s such anxiety of things that haven’t happened that I spend weeks trying to control. It’s like your on a train the deer on the track you see it but this little time to react. Just buckle up and hope for the best.  I’m so worn-out I been play at this game with a defeater’s attitude.  The constant fighting is wearing me down, trying to be everything to everyone.  Struggling is a term that is often used when describing an bipolar depression episode, however, I am beyond struggling I’m drowning. No rock I can crawl under will help hide the pain I am in. 

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Sadness vs Depression

Sadness vs Depression Most people who don’t understand the difference between depression and sadness often get the two confused. It’s very difficult to articulate what an episode is like. When you are in the grips of a full on bipolar episode it’s difficult to navigate the muddy waters of dangerous.  These dangerous waters consists of emotions of feeling angry, helpless, guilt and for some ending it all.  When you are sad you get a little down but you are able to bounce back. Depression is quite the opposite. Your dealing with multitude of emotions all at once and your whole being can’t quite get a grip on reality.  Basicly is like a skydriver taking that jump confident the shoot will open only realizing halfway down your in trouble and there’s no one there to help break the fall. This is how I been feeling lately.  This feeling is what I call the uncontrollable factor.

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THE HIGH CARD

Original Post Date: June 12, 2019

The High Card

Hello all you wizards of words, it’s been a while since I blog. Well not true, I write everyday but a lot of my material doesn’t see the light of day. This thought, however, I been working on for a while now. I finally got the idea incoherent sentences because not everyone speaks Sunny Larue right. With this blog post I’m taking a different approach. Many of my ideas for a blog are inspired by my journal entry. When I tackled this reincarnation, I promised to be truthful in regards to my mental disorder or “Chum”. In fact, to be as brutally honest not matter how hard the topic is. Well what’s more honest then journal entries. I been holding back this side of my Chum. It’s very scary place the the dark side of my Chum. It’s a place of the unknown with little to no control. The links throughout this post are materials that helped me get through this episode.
This post is from my journal entry titled: “The High Card” May 30, 2019

Choosing Needles Over Opioids… A Pain Management ‘Case Study’ 
by
Catherine Mellen

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BIG LIPS

Original Post Date: September 6, 2018

INTRODUCTION

As a child I thought my big lips were my downfall. Everyday I would get teased about the size of my lips. As far back as I can remember, as I grew my lips grew two size larger. In class I would sit and daydream about having plastic surgery to have them deflated. Momma use say “oh they’re all jealous because God gifted you these lips.” Jealous huh? It doesn’t feel that way when the kids point and laugh. I was called every name in the book every derogatory clever name created I was called.

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#LIKEONEANOTHER

Original Post Date: July 3, 2019

Hey all you wonders of words, today I am super excited to be asked by this beautiful organization Public Good Projects to be apart of their campaign #likeoneanother. Like One Another is a campaign aimed to reduce the stigma of mental health by showing that we all are much alike. This campaign has a huge following with many different backgrounds, walks of like all committed to bring mental health awareness to the forefront. I am honored to be apart of such a great organization.

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THE JOKER AFFECT

WARNING: this blog post is of the opinion of my own. I am not a licensed physician. I do not give out any medical advice. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm call 911 or contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255.

Original Post Date: October 9, 2019

Introduction

Why do we show so much passion for super villainous characters? Maybe it’s because we see a little of ourselves in the developmental of their story. I find it interesting the most villains don’t start out horrifying scary. There’s a backstory to the madness that usually find our antagonist struggling with some type of mental illness. Unlike our hero whose moral fabric is the driving force. It’s an delegate balance between the two whose common ground is both struggling with some form of mental illness or disorder. It’s the villains backstory that drives this point. Separating the human aspect from the morally corrupt you find the bullying affect that we all can relate to. We willingly root for a successful outcome for these villains even knowing how horribly bad it all turns out. We all have a little Joker in us.

WARNING: The Joker movie is very graphic and display disturbing scenes that can be triggers for an episodes. Exercise caution when viewing.

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RÉPARER MA ARMURE! Repair My Armor

Original Post Date: July 10, 2018

Introduction

A dear friend once told me to write no matter what I do just write.  Take five mins to write down any thoughts, ideas or feelings. I should make a promise to do this everyday. What happens is that word or sentence turns into a paragraph and that paragraph turns into a blog post. This is the process of a blogger.

Thank you Paulie for the sound advice, you are a truly great friend & a champion I am honored to have in my corner.

I say this because as of late I have been uninspired to do something I love to do “write”.  Writing is my passion. I love to see the thought process behind the madness. Taking one single idea turning it over to my imagination creating a world on a blank canvas that didn’t exist before.  I used to write clever, engaging blogs, reviews about reality TV stars, the episodes they appear in, TV interviews and personal appearances.

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ADDICTION

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 immediately or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

INTRODUCTION

Hello all you wizards of words, today’s blog is inspired by “Addiction”. There are many different faces of addiction.  The two common known types of addiction are Substance and Behavioral.  This blog will focus on the behavioral side. When a person struggling with mental health a lot of bad behavior arise. There’s too much noise, too much dark. It’s very difficult to turn on the lights and keep them on. For this very reason some turns to drink and drugs. Others turns to spending or develop unhealthy relationships with food or self image. Like with any illness, understanding the triggers, the cause and condition is key.

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Never Be Afraid To Ask For Help
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AMY AND ADAM

Interlude

Hello, I’m Sunny Larue known as the professional martini drinking blogger and diagnosed with bipolar. For my last blog post of twenty-nineteen, I thought I would finish a draft from summer where struggling with my mental state was very apparent. It’s no secret that one major contributing factors to my triggers is work related. This episode is a result of the stress of dealing with a workplace bully, unorganization of a temporary desk move and the loud sound of office renovation. Because of the chaos, I couldn’t jot down my thoughts in my journal instead I used post-it-notes and paper napkins. Once I pieced together my thoughts this blog took shape. Apologizing in advance my thoughts were all over the place. This happens when one is in the throws of a full blown bipolar episode.

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HELLO, MY NAME IS

This blog is an option and that option is based upon personal experiences. I am not a license Doctor or healthcare professional. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 or Suicide Prevention Hotline (800) 273-8255 immediately. Should you have any questions or concerns please contact your local hospital, health clinic, Church, healthcare provider or research online for more information.

Introduction

Hello all you rock n’ rollers of words, today blog post is addressing those misconception that comes with having Bipolar Disorder. Where to start this blog? Hello my name is Sunny Larue blogger, Martini admirer, music lover and I am diagnosed bipolar disorder. I think this post will be my third time going into detail about my condition. I know with this blog it will be more technical than personal. A good starting point is I get asked many questions about my condition but the common four questions are:

What Is Bipolar?

What Type Do I Have?

Why Do I Call My Bipolar My “Chum”?

How Do I Manage Episodes?

September is National Suicide Prevention month.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm seek help immediately
by dialing 911 or local emergency service
or calling National Suicide Prevention Lifeline hotline 800-273-8255.

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