Category: Confessions Of A Manic Depressive

START, WAIT, CHANGE

INTRODUCTION

Hello all you champions of words, it’s been awhile since my last post.  Actually it’s been some weeks since my last post, October 29th to be exact with the (Off The Wagon) post however I feel the need to express myself once again. It’s hard trying to guess where to start. It’s even harder waiting but when it’s all said and done it’s the change that makes or breaks us.  I learned this truth living in a post Covid-19 world. Eight months ago life was normal now here’s three principles that play a role in our daily routine; START, WAIT and CHANGE. Today’s blog post is inspired by these words.

🍸🍸🍸🍸

START

I can give you the standard definition of the word start but starting something is all interpretation of what the person is feeling. For me starting means making life time commitments and holding true to those commitments. Starting means there’s no room for failure, procrastinating or empty excuses. To start means to put one foot forward and keep walking no matter what.

🍸🍸🍸🍸

WAIT

As the late Tom Petty puts it so elegantly in the song The Waiting “the waiting is the hardest part” which holds some truth. Some people find themselves at a crossroads in which they’re waiting to start a change that is terrifying or how John Mayer nicely put it in his song Waiting For The World To Change “we keep on waiting for the world to change”.  Let’s be clear, to wait has its advantage but it’s also a downfall because some people in this stage of life spend a lifetime waiting for change but do not know how to embrace and adapt. In other words they find themselve stuck in a moment they can’t get out of. Like a record playing over and over or being on a never ending merry-go-around. To wait means how we must adapt and embrace life moments. The good, the bad, the ugly and the indifference we must learn to adapt and embrace to it all or stay stuck. 

🍸🍸🍸🍸

CHANGE

We can’t start something or wait for that moment without change.  To change is to face your fears. To change is to take ownership of your sh*t. To change is to grow. To change is to move forward. Some folks can never adapt to change and end up staying stuck in moments, choosing to stay in a time that has long passed. Never living in the moment and can’t see past the future.  Some folks stay because they are too afraid of change.  These things are interpretations and depend on the individual ability to adapt and embrace. 

🍸🍸🍸🍸

CONCLUSION

Change is a powerful entity that holds beauty if only we can see it. To start can be as beautiful just as beautiful as thousands of purple colored sunsets. To wait can bring joy and safety. Together these words can give life or take it away.  It all depends on YOU!

Until next time….

Word count: 1274

If you are or know someone struggling with thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 or contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Staffers are ready to help you get back on track. Your not alone.

ADDICTION

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 immediately or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

INTRODUCTION

Hello all you wizards of words, today’s blog is inspired by “Addiction”. There are many different faces of addiction.  The two common known types of addiction are Substance and Behavioral.  This blog will focus on the behavioral side. When a person struggling with mental health a lot of bad behavior arise. There’s too much noise, too much dark. It’s very difficult to turn on the lights and keep them on. For this very reason some turns to drink and drugs. Others turns to spending or develop unhealthy relationships with food or self image. Like with any illness, understanding the triggers, the cause and condition is key.

🍸🍸🍸

Never Be Afraid To Ask For Help
Continue reading “ADDICTION”

AMY AND ADAM

Interlude

Hello, I’m Sunny Larue known as the professional martini drinking blogger and diagnosed with bipolar. For my last blog post of twenty-nineteen, I thought I would finish a draft from summer where struggling with my mental state was very apparent. It’s no secret that one major contributing factors to my triggers is work related. This episode is a result of the stress of dealing with a workplace bully, unorganization of a temporary desk move and the loud sound of office renovation. Because of the chaos, I couldn’t jot down my thoughts in my journal instead I used post-it-notes and paper napkins. Once I pieced together my thoughts this blog took shape. Apologizing in advance my thoughts were all over the place. This happens when one is in the throws of a full blown bipolar episode.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “AMY AND ADAM”

THE JOKER AFFECT

WARNING: this blog post is of the opinion of my own. I am not a licensed physician. I do not give out any medical advice. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm call 911 or contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255.

Introduction

Why do we show so much passion for super villainous characters? Maybe it’s because we see a little of ourselves in the developmental of their story. I find it interesting the most villains don’t start out horrifying scary. There’s a backstory to the madness that usually find our antagonist struggling with some type of mental illness. Unlike our hero whose moral fabric is the driving force. It’s an delegate balance between the two whose common ground is both struggling with some form of mental illness or disorder. It’s the villains backstory that drives this point. Separating the human aspect from the morally corrupt you find the bullying affect that we all can relate to. We willingly root for a successful outcome for these villains even knowing how horribly bad it all turns out. We all have a little Joker in us.

WARNING: The Joker movie is very graphic and display disturbing scenes that can be triggers for an episodes. Exercise caution when viewing.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “THE JOKER AFFECT”

HELLO, MY NAME IS

This blog is an option and that option is based upon personal experiences. I am not a license Doctor or healthcare professional. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 or Suicide Prevention Hotline (800) 273-8255 immediately. Should you have any questions or concerns please contact your local hospital, health clinic, Church, healthcare provider or research online for more information.

Introduction

Hello all you rock n’ rollers of words, today blog post is addressing those misconception that comes with having Bipolar Disorder. Where to start this blog? Hello my name is Sunny Larue blogger, Martini admirer, music lover and I am diagnosed bipolar disorder. I think this post will be my third time going into detail about my condition. I know with this blog it will be more technical than personal. A good starting point is I get asked many questions about my condition but the common four questions are:

What Is Bipolar?

What Type Do I Have?

Why Do I Call My Bipolar My “Chum”?

How Do I Manage Episodes?

September is National Suicide Prevention month.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm seek help immediately
by dialing 911 or local emergency service
or calling National Suicide Prevention Lifeline hotline 800-273-8255.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “HELLO, MY NAME IS”

13 REASONS WHY

Introduction

Hello all you keepers or words, today blog post hits a bit closer to home as it involves dealing with mental health specifically my diagnosis. I have been very open about my bipolar disorder in doing so blogging about something that is so personal it’s hard I’m not going to lie but being on this constant rollercoaster ride trying to seek answers to new questions it’s tough. Through therapy and support I learned some valuable tools that helps when in the mist of an episode.

This blog is based upon my personal perspective and experience dealing with a disorder.
The research of this blog is for informational purpose.
I am not a doctor or a license healthcare worker.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 immediately.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “13 REASONS WHY”

BATTLE OF MY OWN

Introduction

Hello masters and mistresses of words, today blog post is inspired by songs by my favorite artists. These songs best describes the battle I currently find myself fighting. This week has been a hellish nightmare, a nightmare I can’t find myself out of. My armor is worn out tarnished, you can see the cracks deeping. I fear at this rate my armor I so depend will all be gone. It’s scary to hold onto something that most people think is insignificant. To me this shield my armor is a matter or life or death.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “BATTLE OF MY OWN”

ME, CHUM AND SIN CITY

Happy Hump Day to all you wizards of words, today blog post is about dealing with anxiety, my Chum his merry bandmates and Sin City. I know what an intro right? Trust me on this merry-go-round it will all come back around. The inspiration for this blog comes from my annual vacation to Vegas with my champions. Now buckle up and enjoy this ride.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “ME, CHUM AND SIN CITY”

ANOTHER MASS SHOOTING It’s Time For Gun Control!

Hello all you masters and mistress of words, here we are again on the mass shooting merry-go-round. This time America got a triple. Two mass shootings within hours of each other and a week from the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting. I’m not going to give a lecture on the importance of gun control because if you read this blog, you’ll see that this debate has been going since the 1966 starting with the shooting at University of Texas.

This blog showcast many of the heartbreaking mass shootings from Columbine to the most tragic Sandy Hook. I often ask the question “how many people have to die before our Government will act. With each administration taking to social media giving a heartfelt condolences, no one bothers to actually come up with more stricter gun laws to prevent more mass shootings.

No trouble individual should has such easy access to guns. Maybe its up to us to take action to help prevent another loss.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “ANOTHER MASS SHOOTING It’s Time For Gun Control!”

STRANGER THINGS

Hello champions of words, today blog is quite unique in the guides that I followed advice from a dear friend who told me to write down your thoughts no matter what then when ready come back and visit. This is that blog. When I started the few sentences, I was coming out of an episode trying to connect back to familiar surroundings. At this point it has been eight days since I had a visit from my Chum. Its a strange thing what inspired me to write this down. Someone asked me specifically how is my mental health. The conversation started off innocently but I realized there’s so many misconception of bipolar.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “STRANGER THINGS”