Category: Featured

THE MERRY-GO-ROUND

Today is the start of another work week.  I been having such anger and I know why.  It’s getting harder for me to function and my chipper happy-go-lucky self has all but disappeared.  I feel so alone even though I’m standing in a plaza filled with people. My Chum and his band mates are knocking at the stage door demanding I should let them in.  It’s a concert I don’t want to attend.  I’m having difficulty expressing these range of emotions.  I see the signs, you know to stay positive in the darkness even my candy wrapper has a positive message “Be fearlessly authentic” really?

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The loving kind

strawberrycaz

It’s that time of year again when the world is filled with reminders of “love”.

Actually, that “love” is a complete lie. It’s not real is it?

Essentially, the shops are filled with reminders to buy things.

Cards, chocolates, flowers, stuffed toys, or if you’re Marks and Spencer, a love heart shaped sausage.

Show someone you love them by buying them something. That’s what we’re being told isn’t it?

I’ve always got a bit annoyed about it all because at a very basic level I don’t like being told what to do.

Over and above that, a stuffed rabbit holding a love heart won’t make me feel more or less loved. And anyone who spends £50 on a bouquet of roses is actually insane.

It’s commercialism and a con. Forced.

Love does not come from the thing that’s been bought, but it comes from the act of giving the thing.

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OVER THE HUMP

Today is Wed a hump day which is generally my favorite day of the week simply because I can say “Hump Day” and no one will get offended.  Today been a busy day at my paying job.  Looking around the office I noticing the colors a bright yellow, pink & green which is all good colors good sign and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

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CONFESSIONS OF A DEPRESSIVE MIND

“You knock me out like a wrecking crew
I’m back on my feet and all over you
Faster than I’ve ever been before”

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“All Time High”

It’s Friday and I’m still feeling the pressure.  This week has been brutal.  I’m still reeling from my meltdown and now I’m getting pressure from work.  This co-worker is notorious for doing this to me.  He waits until the last possible minute then gives me work saying he needs ASAP.  That’s the thing about working at this firm they don’t teach you anything it’s a crash and burn situation.  

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CRASH DIET FOR THE MIND

“I don’t allow myself to be human therefore my feelings of hurt, frustration and anger don’t have any value.  This process invalidates me as a person. That’s the one thing I truly dislike about myself.”

download (1)Yesterday my Chum paid me a visit.  True to rock star form, my Chum wasn’t alone.  This time Chum brought band mates Manic, Doubt and Panic. Together this dynamic foursome tore the hotel room apart. It was a complete meltdown to the point I had to call my safe person who always pulls me back from the ledge. My meltdown was beyond hitting my trigger the red brick wall, I ran smack dead into it, through it and over the edge.  Hanging on by the grip of my fingers I placed the call. I haven’t had that kind of breakdown in a while. My problem is I let things build up until I blow my top a trait I’m working on overcoming, however, I did see this one coming.  At this point lacking control, there’s really little to do. I buckled up, stayed on the run-away train bracing for the wreck and hoping for the best.

🍸🍸🍸

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