Today I cried. My tears came as a surprise to think about the year twenty-twenty as something to cry over. Yes, like most people I have lost something but is the loss worth these tears? My heart took the blow too hard and heavy. However, my head is standing rock solid not to be suede either way. I don’t know why such things are so difficult to face. I don’t know why it’s so hard to let go. I don’t know why it’s so hard to forgive. I don’t know why we choose to hold on to pain, anger and loss. Hello all your rocker and rollers of words, today’s blog post is inspired by the emotions of holding on to pain, anger while dealing with grief, loss and learning how to forgive and to let go.
Hello all you wizards of words, today’s blog is inspired by“Addiction”. There are many different faces of addiction. The two common known types of addiction are Substanceand Behavioral. This blog will focus on the behavioral side. When a person struggling with mental health a lot of bad behavior arise. There’s too much noise, too much dark. It’s very difficult to turn on the lights and keep them on. For this very reason some turns to drink and drugs. Others turns to spending or develop unhealthy relationships with food or self image. Like with any illness, understanding the triggers, the cause and condition is key.
WARNING: this blog post is of the opinion of my own. I am not a licensed physician. I do not give out any medical advice. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm call 911 or contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255.
Why do we show so much passion for super villainous characters? Maybe it’s because we see a little of ourselves in the developmental of their story. I find it interesting the most villains don’t start out horrifying scary. There’s a backstory to the madness that usually find our antagonist struggling with some type of mental illness. Unlike our hero whose moral fabric is the driving force. It’s an delegate balance between the two whose common ground is both struggling with some form of mental illness or disorder. It’s the villains backstory that drives this point. Separating the human aspect from the morally corrupt you find the bullying affect that we all can relate to. We willingly root for a successful outcome for these villains even knowing how horribly bad it all turns out. We all have a little Joker in us.
WARNING: The Joker movie is very graphic and display disturbing scenes that can be triggers for an episodes.Exercise caution when viewing.
Hello all you keepers or words, today blog post hits a bit closer to home as it involves dealing with mental health specifically my diagnosis. I have been very open about my bipolar disorder in doing so blogging about something that is so personal it’s hard I’m not going to lie but being on this constant rollercoaster ride trying to seek answers to new questions it’s tough. Through therapy and support I learned some valuable tools that helps when in the mist of an episode.
This blog is based upon my personal perspective and experience dealing with a disorder.
The research of this blog is for informational purpose.
I am not a doctor or a license healthcare worker.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 immediately.
Today I feel the weight of the world crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. This heaviness is like an underdog wrestler pinning down an opponent winning the match. Unlike the wrestler, this is a match I won’t win today. This weight slowly grows & morphing into an uncontrollable desperation. Some days this desperation is far off in the distant allowing me tiny bit of joy but today this desperation I often refer to as “my chum” is here to stay.
This short is dedicated to you my beautiful babies Joshy, MoMo, Little Steve, Jay-Bird, NoNo, Mara & Monie who aren’t shy to be bold & to dream big reaching the stars & beyond. May your light grow brighter & shine bigger. I love you to the moon & back & beyond.
Today I walked into life with a new sense of hope. Yesterday I cried longing for a past that was devastating carrying the scent of you. Yesterday I closed my eyes & dreamed of a life with you. Today I opened those eyes no longer trapped in what you appeared to be. Yesterday I danced on the ledge contemplating a jump in the hopes you finally see me & not through. Today I walked into my new life with clear picture of who I am.
Don’t bother trying fix me I’m broken. I’m not broken from what you did to me but broken from what I allowed. I cannot control your view of me I, however, can control my reaction to your twisted distorted world.
Hello all you Kings & Queens of social media, we are at the start of a new year with new goals we all hope to achieve, new resolutions we won’t keep & a fresh start but for me starting the new year is often very stressful & overwhelming. Twenty-eighteen has been a year of self discovery, growing & learning to let things go but I must say the few days leading up to January 1st, my anxiety level were at an all time high. I live in a part of the US where my city falls behind most of the world time wise that is. When most of you have celebrated, we’re still waiting to count down & there’s my anxiety falls into play. The good news no disaster nor looming doom, no nothing really just another routine type of a day. I ranged in the new year just as I have for the past ten years celebrating with friends very low-key usual finger foods, playing games & getting hammered. I don’t know why I place so much on new years when I always survive the event.