Moving at the speed of light. Floating high over the night sky. The white puffy clouds tries to greet me but only uttering a goodbye as I fly by to fast to stop to say hi. I’m moving so fast no time to slow down. A cool calm falls over me such gentle in nature & yet so familiar. I take advantage of this calm to look upwards the stars so tiny shimmering in the purple night like a diamonds bracelet. Here in this place is always purple, always blue, always dark like my dreams of you. Light moving too fast, memory play a vanishing act disappearing right before your eyes. Any rational thoughts escapes the endless void of nothing. I can’t even remember my name. Will I ever see the light again?
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Continue reading “Moving at the Speed of Light”
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You will never admit you’re wrong. Sitting here having this last meal, this last drink with you I’m hearing everything but “I’m sorry for hurting you.” You and I our story ends here at this cafe and although I look deep into those ocean blue eyes, and just hope this is all a nasty dream apart of me wants to bite back. All the years I spent, time sacrificing my career to give you a home, family and love, you dare sit there and lay out how this ends.
Today you passed away without a whisper, without any mention, quietly without any notice. As we say goodbye, I look at you laying in this box not knowing who you truly are. Truthfully, I never really knew you other than what you displayed which is cold and distant. It didn’t have to be this way, but this mess is by design, your design. As I stand here with friends and family gathered to mourn your memory and somehow I’m expected to have some kind of reaction. I do have a reaction but it’s not the kind most here expect. How can I shed a tear for a man who when he divorced my mother he divorced me. And now twenty plus years later, now a adult with a family of my own, I’m standing here looking upon you in that box wondering did you miss me? Did you ever love me?
Lay me down to sleep here in this final of final resting place six feet deep. All alone naked like the day I was born, here in the dark and cold I’m not afraid anymore. I can hear faint voices whispering “I Miss You” spilling tears as if we were actual friends. Funny I never knew how much you cared. When I was alive you barely notice me. I was a shadow among a sea of the beautiful people. Faceless, nameless yes that was me. 
Today I hit a brick wall. Ran smack face first into this ten foot high wall. I took a step back licking my wombs only to discover this wall is nearly impossible to climb. Dynamic and dramatic as this situation is, I can only appreciate the blinders that cover my eyes
I been a blogger off and on now for about ten years. I have reincarnated myself as many times a Madonna have reinvented herself. One thing is constant and that’s writing. I come to the realization that blogging is nothing more than having a conversation with yourself and hoping others join in. 
Autumn leaves are falling stripping the trees bare. There’s a crisp breeze dancing in the air. The smells of pumpkin spice and everything nice is everywhere. You and I sit on the porch welcoming the Autumn dawn. It’s that time of year again when I think of you most. Red, brown and yellow leaves falling around us and you holding me in your arms like a warm blanket on this Autumn day. Squeezing tighter and tighter, I can feel your heartbeat against my back. I can feel your warm breath on my neck, submerged in your embrace knowing that no one will ever love me in this way.
When does it comes a time to stop mourning the loss and just move on? There are different ways of mourning. People mourning a death of loved one and or the dissolution of a relationship. Some people choose to mourn by celebrating the life the legacy and then there are those who find themselves stuck in a moment of self doubt, loneliness, fear and uncertainty unable to move on. Today blog is about mourning the loss of a relationship.
what did Gen X (1970 – 1998) do for fun. I got to thinking about my childhood and growing up in the 80’s all the fun. I remember getting my first walk-man pink and black for Christmas or buying my first LP (vinyl) 
What is Inspiration? To me inspiration is many different things. To me inspiration is love, friendship, respect, compassion, family, hope and home just to name a few. The reason for this blog post is I had an interesting question posed to me from one of my dearest life-long friend who asked “when you write, is it when the notion strikes you, do you hae a schedule, or what do you do?” My response is “I write when I’m inspired.” As I am now inspired.
compelled to tell of my journey of growth. This blog post is based on a recent conversation or conversations I had with varies important people in my life, my sister, my niece, my cousins, my closest friends all these people have played a role and given me inspiration and a voice and for that I am grateful. For too long I been standing in the shadows just going throught the emotions like a got-damm robot scared to express myself. No more standing in my shadow crying wanting to be heard needing to be heard craving for a stable support-system. Now with my new found sense of self awareness I am comfortable to speak my 