The power of Red fills my head with hatred and dread. Unlike the color of azul a Noble blue that binds the soul with peace. It’s not Red’s fault, she’s always been this way. Red is trying not to be so negative, so envy of her friend Noble Blue. According to plan, Red path is sealed with a kiss. Alone in her convictions, Red stands alone on the banks of Crossroads Benny beach waiting for a chance to make a new path to enlightenment. Off in the distant bobbing in the water, bottle but not any bottle. This bottle came a long way containing a message from an old friend. This friend message reads;
“Hear these words, Red you’re not as hateful or dreadful. Even the coldest of hearts can be undone. Through these inspirational thoughts of love, compassion, empathy and respect can be represented in the hearts of the cold. It’s never too late for change and growth.
Love your friend Noble Blue.”
Red with a heavy heart gives way to a warm embrace of this message of encouragement. She wears like a dawn’s comforter, smiling in glee for even the harden of hearts wants to be loved. The life story of Red doesn’t end at the banks of Crossroads Benny, if Red can learn the lesson and embrace change so can we.
This short story is inspired by the color Red and what it represent. Some see Red as a negative, I choose to see Red in all it’s beauty.
Be Kind
la fin
Photo by Milo
Today I am feeling lower than I can possibly go. It’s shows. My emotions are compromised and my strength my armor is slowly being chipped away. With every frown or crossed stare I get from the powers to be, a crack appears on my armor. If I stay here in this space, I fear there won’t be anything left. It’s like that situation where you’re in a crowded room enjoying the scene then that evil force walks in sucking all the air and life out that’s how the current work space is. Here it’s quite clear we all play by a different set of rules. I should know this by now. Naivety I hoped things would get better but with each inopportune moment is a slap in the face. Yes they talk a good game but the truth is there’s no room for growth well if you are me in my position. With all my experience the only thing I am good for is to sit here answering the few calls that comes through. 
Too Much Noise: There’s too much noise on social media particularly Twitter. Twitter is a place where people dealing with mental illness or disorder uses to express themselves. It’s in our nature to give out advice whether that advice is wanted or not. We live in a time where its custom to share our every aspect of our lives. For someone who is dealing with mental illness or disorder our thought process isn’t always easily articulated in a way for those who don’t understand the difference between a person with mental illness is venting, ranting or crying out for help. In which case the intent is often lost.
Hello Chum: I am a manic depressive. I refer to my disorder as my “Chum” because it’s a causal way of disarming people from judging. Usually when people see my Chum reference they offer up their experiences with dealing with mental disorder. When in the midst of a full-on breakdown that last thing, I want is advice on how to manage my episodes. The gesture of prayers are good, powerful but can be reckless. The reality is not all people share the same religious background. When offering up or expression such thoughtfulness, make sure the person is ready to receive. Sharing such thoughtfulness to someone who isn’t religious or share the same views can also be another trigger. Prayers isn’t a cure to mental illness or disorder.
Avenues For Derailing: There’s a few avenues I turn to when trying to derail my manic episode. Writing and Music. For some social media is their outlet. Don’t look at it as a cry for help. Before you comment, know the signs. Know the difference between venting, ranting and a cry for help. Expressing frustration is one way to help heal and cope with mental illness or disorder. When someone who has mental illness reach out via social media the best thing is to LISTEN. Don’t jump to conclusions and start calling the local police to do a wellness check. Don’t offer any words of encourage unless the person is willing to receive OR you have a personal relationship in which case giving advice, words of encouragement or even taking the necessary steps to help derail a manic episode is appreciated. Most people aren’t religious so offering up prayers or should I say referencing prayers will cure all isn’t very helpful. That kind of engaging can be dangerous. Just go with the notion, that if you don’t understand what a person is saying don’t response or don’t engage. 
Hello all you wizards of words, the last few days my trigger button was pushed and the security door was open letting out my Chum in all his forms. Today I’m feeling better, in fact feeling good enough to dive head first participating in a weekly ritual those of us on social media “Throw Back Thursday”. The inspiration for this memory is my eighties playlist. With songs like “I Ran”, “Union Of The Snake”, “Your Love” I am transported back to my Jr. High years. It was a time where my life completely changed. Taking on new responsibilities as my generation steps one foot closer to adulthood. It’s funny when you’re a kid you spend your childhood trying to convince everyone you’re old enough to handle things than once you become an adult, you spend the rest of your life trying to recoup your childhood. I guess this is why trending fads like Flashback Fridays or Throw Back Tuesdays are most popular.
Driving down this road hatred fills my eyes. Seeing red, I can feel the flames burning inside. Waiting for that one slip up to release the beast that dances within. Cool as the morning dew sweetly fills the air, still can’t stop this living hell I am in. The more I drive down this dangerous road the more I feel alive and ready to fight. Lying in wait, to pull the pin to explode. Looking in the rear view mirror I see the road I left behind. Plenty of rocks left in my wake to over take that turn. It’s all in the past now as I look forward still reeling with this anger. Coming to the stop light blinker on left turn, then another left turn pulling into the drive of the fortress of destitute, realizing another nightmarish hell. Seeing that brick wall I’m about to come crashing into just accepting this is my fate.
