Tag: Life

Ch6 Page 6. The Memories you see through the eyes of a thought… Come with words once said by the loved one, of who’s Memory you sought⚘

Irishgirl69

Fun Facts About Catherine:

Favorite book is “The Outsiders” by Jack Kerouac

Favorite place to be creative is cemetary. (Peaceful, Serenity & Tranquility)

Her good friend Jon inspired her to write.

Please take a moment to read her incredible blog and don’t forget to subscribe.

You can follow Catherine on social media. “Irishgirl69” 

 Thank you Catherine for sharing your story.

A Life Given To Me

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CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed healthcare professional. This blog is based on my own personal experience and not to be used as a self diagnosis guide. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, self harm or showing any symptoms of depression; SEEK MEDICAL ASSISTANCE FROM A LICENSE HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL or contact your local {Police Department}, {Fire Department}, {Hospital} or contact one of these facilities listed below or dial 9 1 1;

Vantage Point

National Institute of Mental Health

Substance Abused and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA) 

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SURVIVING THE CHAOS, Warning Signs of Bipolar Depression

Hello all you masters of words, today I’m feeling a bit down and under the weather.  This week has been very tough in fact, this month has been very tough.  I feel like my words aren’t being heard and I’m falling deeper into my depression.  I put on a brave face, its all an act.  Whenever someone ask how I am doing my generic response is “I’m doing just fine” clearly not true. I should get the Academy Award for best fake-smile. I’m far from being fine. I’m far from being normal, I mean what is normal?  The truth is I’m scared, I feel beat-up and I’m worn-out.  I am terrified of the things I can’t control.  I blogged about this before where there’s such anxiety of things that haven’t happened that I spend weeks trying to control. It’s like your on a train the deer on the track you see it but this little time to react. Just buckle up and hope for the best.  I’m so worn-out I been play at this game with a defeater’s attitude.  The constant fighting is wearing me down, trying to be everything to everyone.  Struggling is a term that is often used when describing an bipolar depression episode, however, I am beyond struggling I’m drowning. No rock I can crawl under will help hide the pain I am in. 

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The Difference Between Sadness & Depression

Sadness vs Depression: Most people who don’t understand the difference between depression and sadness often get the two confused. It’s very difficult to articulate what an episode is like. When you are in the grips of a full on bipolar episode it’s difficult to navigate the muddy waters of dangerous.  These dangerous waters consists of emotions of feeling angry, helpless, guilt and for some ending it all.  When you are sad you get a little down but you are able to bounce back. Depression is quite the opposite. Your dealing with multitude of emotions all at once and your whole being can’t quite get a grip on reality.  Basicly is like a skydriver taking that jump confident the shoot will open only realizing halfway down your in trouble and there’s no one there to help break the fall. This is how I been feeling lately.  This feeling is what I call the uncontrollable factor.

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WARRIOR

346-3466505_15-best-photos-of-80s-party-clip-artHello all you masters of words, as I sit here listening to my playlist from the 80’s feeling nostalgic, I find myself longing for the good old times.  Missing old buddies, one particular friend comes to mind.  She is one of my champions, who encouraged me to continue writing.  She and I go way back.  I can still see her waiting for me up on the Blvd (Hollywood Blvd) at our spot, planning our ditch day. I recently found two of my diaries realizing that one of the diaries is solely about her and our adventures together.  True to form most of the crew we hung out with all but disappeared, not true with her.  We kept in touch making our bond stronger.  Her story of courage has inspired me to write this blog.  This blog post is dedicated to my dear friend Beth.

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REMEMBER MY NAME

girl-1098612__340Today I am feeling lower than I can possibly go.  It’s shows.  My emotions are compromised and my strength my armor is slowly being chipped away.  With every frown or crossed stare I get from the powers to be, a crack appears on my armor.  If I stay here in this space, I fear there won’t be anything left.  It’s like that situation where you’re in a crowded room enjoying the scene then that evil force walks in sucking all the air and life out that’s how the current work space is.  Here it’s quite clear we all play by a different set of rules.  I should know this by now.  Naivety I hoped things would get better but with each inopportune moment is a slap in the face.  Yes they talk a good game but the truth is there’s no room for growth well if you are me in my position.  With all my experience the only thing I am good for is to sit here answering the few calls that comes through. 

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