Just recently a really good friend of mine well more like a champion informed me that our thirty year high school reunion is happening this August. He asked if I was plan on going. I paused then responded with I don’t know. It’s always difficult task going back to high school. I can imagine it’s a tough time for most but for me it was my living hell nightmarish prison that I thought I would never escape. The anxiety of getting to school was a nightmare. I spent four years with a bunch of miserable assholes who pride themselves on being assholes becoming the target of many vicious attacks. My four years were spent dodging bullets, ducking hand grenades and digging deep trenches to hide in. Why on earth would I want to volunteer to spend one evening reliving that?
Hello, I’m Sunny Larue known as the professional martini drinking blogger storyteller. I was diagnosed with depression at sixteen. My depression became manic at the beginning of twenty nineteen my Aunt passed then six months later the most important person in my life unexpectedly passed. When my mother passed all of my neurotic depressive behavior intensely magnified. The pain of losing both my Aunt who also had a huge impact in life and my mother I created a dream world that I kept getting lost in. I functioned like a “normal” person but honestly I felt like my dreaming world was taking over and spilling into reality. Pretty scary.
Mommy please take my hand, hold it tight. I’m scared I won’t live through the night. These voices speak to me tell me to do things I don’t want to do. Their force, the powerful voices commends me to tell you this truth. I don’t want to live anymore. My behavior has caused so much pain. I don’t want you to cry anymore, but these powerful voices I can’t ignore anymore. If you can just sleep here tonight and hold me tight maybe they will go away.