Tag: Mental Awareness

REMEMBER MY NAME

girl-1098612__340Today I am feeling lower than I can possibly go.  It’s shows.  My emotions are compromised and my strength my armor is slowly being chipped away.  With every frown or crossed stare I get from the powers to be, a crack appears on my armor.  If I stay here in this space, I fear there won’t be anything left.  It’s like that situation where you’re in a crowded room enjoying the scene then that evil force walks in sucking all the air and life out that’s how the current work space is.  Here it’s quite clear we all play by a different set of rules.  I should know this by now.  Naivety I hoped things would get better but with each inopportune moment is a slap in the face.  Yes they talk a good game but the truth is there’s no room for growth well if you are me in my position.  With all my experience the only thing I am good for is to sit here answering the few calls that comes through. 

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BITE YOUR LIP

I come to the conclusion when writing or blogging a thought or an idea to be honest.  When I write my words are a result from something traumatic in my life. These moments are like reflections.  Just like one would see a reflection in a mirror, words for a blogger/writer are just as such.  I find myself staring more and more at my words which are very emotional, raw, powerful and sometimes painful. Sometimes these emotions can be very difficult to face. It’s especially difficult putting yourself out on social media where the trolls thrive.  I often ask myself “is it worth the risk?”

 “It’s not wise to be on social media when having an episode”

rooster teethToo Much Noise:     There’s too much noise on social media particularly Twitter. Twitter is a place where people dealing with mental illness or disorder uses to express themselves. It’s in our nature to give out advice whether that advice is wanted or not. We live in a time where its custom to share our every aspect of our lives. For someone who is dealing with mental illness or disorder our thought process isn’t always easily articulated in a way for those who don’t understand the difference between a person with mental illness is venting, ranting or crying out for help. In which case the intent is often lost.

“It is wise to learn the difference between, venting, ranting & cry for help”

bipolarity-clipart-manic-depression-5Hello Chum:     I am a manic depressive. I refer to my disorder as my “Chum” because it’s a causal way of disarming people from judging. Usually when people see my Chum reference they offer up their experiences with dealing with mental disorder. When in the midst of a full-on breakdown that last thing, I want is advice on how to manage my episodes.  The gesture of prayers are good, powerful but can be reckless.  The reality is not all people share the same religious background. When offering up or expression such thoughtfulness, make sure the person is ready to receive. Sharing such thoughtfulness to someone who isn’t religious or share the same views can also be another trigger. Prayers isn’t a cure to mental illness or disorder.

“Don’t tell someone struggling with mental illness or disorder false truths.”

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“Prayers isn’t a cure for Mental Health, Mental Illness or Mental Disorder”

A4YbcDB69h-8Avenues For Derailing:     There’s a few avenues I turn to when trying to derail my manic episode.  Writing and Music.   For some social media is their outlet.  Don’t look at it as a cry for help.  Before you comment, know the signs.  Know the difference between venting, ranting and a cry for help.  Expressing frustration is one way to help heal and cope with mental illness or disorder.  When someone who has mental illness reach out via social media the best thing is to LISTEN. Don’t jump to conclusions and start calling the local police to do a wellness check. Don’t offer any words of encourage unless the person is willing to receive OR you have a personal relationship in which case giving advice, words of encouragement or even taking the necessary steps to help derail a manic episode is appreciated.  Most people aren’t religious so offering up prayers or should I say referencing prayers will cure all isn’t very helpful. That kind of engaging can be dangerous. Just go with the notion, that if you don’t understand what a person is saying don’t response or don’t engage.  

Navigating the Darkness:    Nicole Carmen is a few blogger who struggles with mental illness.  Her website “Navigating Darkness” follows her lifestyle as she copes with mental health.  Nicole has been featured blogger, and she is also a publicized mental health advocated. If you have any questions, Nicole is happy to answer.  

Education is the best way to understand how people who suffers from mental health issues navigate through the dark. After reading this blog, I’m happy to answer any questions.

That is all.

Be Kind.

la fin

 

SISTERHOOD

Hello all masters of words, I normally start my blogs or short stories with some clever catchphrase but I decided to take a different approach because this subject is a touchy given the right conditions, can be a trigger for my manic-depressive state aka my “chum”.  I am like most women, I enjoy watching daytime television specifically talk shows but as I get deeper into watching I notice the all women panel engaging in relentless bickering and rude nasty behavior. Watching this type of behavior is very stressful.  I got to thinking with all the hatred and petty fights is the value of sisterhood over?

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HELP ME

girl-1098612__340I don’t know where I am in the grand scheme of things. My head feels like a merry-go-round spinning in circles a never-ending circle. I want to stop, I need to stop but I can won’t you help me.  Everything hurts, every words, laugh and cry is painful too sensitive to act too sad to be happy I need love to light the way.  I am a prisoner to this fate bleak drowning deeper into the sea of void sinking lower than Moby Dick’s occupants.  Not lacking in faith, wishing for a band-aid to cover the scab I’m slowing picking at, screaming in a crowded room with no one looking up not evening giving a glance I’m here with this demon.  A constant companion these days speaks to me in ways no one can comprehend.  Scared no, just concerned that my mind is no longer my own.  Fighting the good fight staying above water in the hopes that one day this dynamic dance will be done.

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UNCONTROLLABLE CHAOS


uncontrollable thoughts Uncontrollable thoughts I have many of them. I’m a manic-depressive, what do you expect. These thoughts seem to come out of nowhere causing great distress.  I find myself at the of the pen staring at pages of lists I created out of nowhere and for no apparent reasons.  It’s quite stressful trying to organize my chaotic thoughts.  My pattern is always the same which I found to be strangely ironic.  I will start an idea write it down spend time on it then lose interest.  When I go back I feel there’s nothing to go back too just a bunch of blah, blah. Sometimes I can’t keep things straight.  I feel like my head is a cork-board filled with thousands post-it-notes.  Every note is a piece of a puzzle I’m trying to put together.  Once the puzzle is complete I now have to find away to express these thoughts to the outside world in away that is healthy.  The stress is unbearable I’m thrown into a world that is dark with no light at the end of the tunnel.  All my thoughts are lost in the sea of nameless void prompting me to start all over. I really need to STOP and PAUSE because this adds to my stress level and heavens knows we do not need anything else adding to the state of confusion I already feel.

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