Tag: Social Blogger

SISTERHOOD

Hello all masters of words, I normally start my blogs or short stories with some clever catchphrase but I decided to take a different approach because this subject is a touchy given the right conditions, can be a trigger for my manic-depressive state aka my “chum”.  I am like most women, I enjoy watching daytime television specifically talk shows but as I get deeper into watching I notice the all women panel engaging in relentless bickering and rude nasty behavior. Watching this type of behavior is very stressful.  I got to thinking with all the hatred and petty fights is the value of sisterhood over?

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UNCONTROLLABLE CHAOS


uncontrollable thoughts Uncontrollable thoughts I have many of them. I’m a manic-depressive, what do you expect. These thoughts seem to come out of nowhere causing great distress.  I find myself at the of the pen staring at pages of lists I created out of nowhere and for no apparent reasons.  It’s quite stressful trying to organize my chaotic thoughts.  My pattern is always the same which I found to be strangely ironic.  I will start an idea write it down spend time on it then lose interest.  When I go back I feel there’s nothing to go back too just a bunch of blah, blah. Sometimes I can’t keep things straight.  I feel like my head is a cork-board filled with thousands post-it-notes.  Every note is a piece of a puzzle I’m trying to put together.  Once the puzzle is complete I now have to find away to express these thoughts to the outside world in away that is healthy.  The stress is unbearable I’m thrown into a world that is dark with no light at the end of the tunnel.  All my thoughts are lost in the sea of nameless void prompting me to start all over. I really need to STOP and PAUSE because this adds to my stress level and heavens knows we do not need anything else adding to the state of confusion I already feel.

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CALL ME NUTS

Call me nuts that’s okay as they say a nut a day keeps the insane sane.  My behavior shows a level of difference for I am not the same as all of you.  It’s in the mind, my mind running thousand miles a minute shuffling through every idea analyzing every thought.  It takes me time to catch up but don’t worry I will catch up.  In this world my nuttiness is normal, here in this world everything I do makes sense.  It’s only when I’m around this table do I see the dark.  My soul is intact, my verbal skills doesn’t lack the need to be expressive.  All my senses are alive and well thank you for asking.  I’m not sure if it’s the meds or just a good day but what ever this is I hope it stays.  I enjoy the feeling of controlled nuttiness.

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A WORLD WITHOUT LOVE

mommaA world without your love is the world I find myself dwelling in. The lights were turned off when you closed your eyes forever.  Alone here in the darkness I wait for you in my dreams. In anticipation seeing your beautiful face. Longing to hear your soft voice whisper those beautiful three words “I Love You”. I live in this world cold cruel and dead without your kind touch, without your encouragement. I don’t want to stay in this world without you anymore.  I want to be where you are, dancing in your light.  I want to stay in this light embraced in your loving arms within your unconditional love only a mother can give.

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1517610_1247067885310674_4972402343485808101_n1This short is inspired by my Mother who was special tough lady.  Every year on my birthday she would say “And what does this St. Patty Day girl want for birthday dinner?” The answer is always the same; fried chicken, mashed potatoes, string beans and yellow cake with chocolate icing. Wanting and getting are two different things in our household.  I always ended up getting corn beef, cabbage, cornbread and Carmel cake.  My mother knew I’m not a fan of corn beef and cabbage.  I use to get so angry with her but now I wish I could have that dinner one more time with her smile.  My mother who bravery is unmatched. Who had the courage to stand tall in a world that try to make her small. She’s one of a kind.

Be Kind!

la fin

FACE OF A DEPRESSED MIND

Hello Kings and Queens of the blogging community, wow last week been one hell of a ride.  Trying to play catch-up it’s very dawnty to say the lease. This past week I had a birthday to work through.  I always get very emotional around my birthday.  Just found out a friend passed away.  He was truly a kind soul with a big heart.  There’s not enough words on this planet that I can use to describe how brilliant this person was.  Still dealing with the aftermath of work place bullying.  All the while trying to keep my “Chum” and his band mates “Manic” “Doubt” and “Panic” at bay.  Yes its an overwhelming week of highs and lows and despite it all surprisingly I survived.

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