Tag: Social Media

REMEMBER MY NAME

girl-1098612__340Today I am feeling lower than I can possibly go.  It’s shows.  My emotions are compromised and my strength my armor is slowly being chipped away.  With every frown or crossed stare I get from the powers to be, a crack appears on my armor.  If I stay here in this space, I fear there won’t be anything left.  It’s like that situation where you’re in a crowded room enjoying the scene then that evil force walks in sucking all the air and life out that’s how the current work space is.  Here it’s quite clear we all play by a different set of rules.  I should know this by now.  Naivety I hoped things would get better but with each inopportune moment is a slap in the face.  Yes they talk a good game but the truth is there’s no room for growth well if you are me in my position.  With all my experience the only thing I am good for is to sit here answering the few calls that comes through. 

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#TBT

118546Hello all you wizards of words, the last few days my trigger button was pushed and the security door was open letting out my Chum in all his forms.  Today I’m feeling better, in fact feeling good enough to dive head first participating in a weekly ritual those of us on social media “Throw Back Thursday”.  The inspiration for this memory is my eighties playlist. With songs like “I Ran”, “Union Of The Snake”, “Your Love” I am transported back to my Jr. High years.  It was a time where my life completely changed.  Taking on new responsibilities as my generation steps one foot closer to adulthood.  It’s funny when you’re a kid you spend your childhood trying to convince everyone you’re old enough to handle things than once you become an adult, you spend the rest of your life trying to recoup your childhood.  I guess this is why trending fads like Flashback Fridays or Throw Back Tuesdays are most popular.

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SISTERHOOD

Hello all masters of words, I normally start my blogs or short stories with some clever catchphrase but I decided to take a different approach because this subject is a touchy given the right conditions, can be a trigger for my manic-depressive state aka my “chum”.  I am like most women, I enjoy watching daytime television specifically talk shows but as I get deeper into watching I notice the all women panel engaging in relentless bickering and rude nasty behavior. Watching this type of behavior is very stressful.  I got to thinking with all the hatred and petty fights is the value of sisterhood over?

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UNCONTROLLABLE CHAOS


uncontrollable thoughts Uncontrollable thoughts I have many of them. I’m a manic-depressive, what do you expect. These thoughts seem to come out of nowhere causing great distress.  I find myself at the of the pen staring at pages of lists I created out of nowhere and for no apparent reasons.  It’s quite stressful trying to organize my chaotic thoughts.  My pattern is always the same which I found to be strangely ironic.  I will start an idea write it down spend time on it then lose interest.  When I go back I feel there’s nothing to go back too just a bunch of blah, blah. Sometimes I can’t keep things straight.  I feel like my head is a cork-board filled with thousands post-it-notes.  Every note is a piece of a puzzle I’m trying to put together.  Once the puzzle is complete I now have to find away to express these thoughts to the outside world in away that is healthy.  The stress is unbearable I’m thrown into a world that is dark with no light at the end of the tunnel.  All my thoughts are lost in the sea of nameless void prompting me to start all over. I really need to STOP and PAUSE because this adds to my stress level and heavens knows we do not need anything else adding to the state of confusion I already feel.

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CALL ME NUTS

Call me nuts that’s okay as they say a nut a day keeps the insane sane.  My behavior shows a level of difference for I am not the same as all of you.  It’s in the mind, my mind running thousand miles a minute shuffling through every idea analyzing every thought.  It takes me time to catch up but don’t worry I will catch up.  In this world my nuttiness is normal, here in this world everything I do makes sense.  It’s only when I’m around this table do I see the dark.  My soul is intact, my verbal skills doesn’t lack the need to be expressive.  All my senses are alive and well thank you for asking.  I’m not sure if it’s the meds or just a good day but what ever this is I hope it stays.  I enjoy the feeling of controlled nuttiness.

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