Autumn

1517610_1247067885310674_4972402343485808101_nAutumn leaves are falling stripping the trees bare. There’s a crisp breeze dancing in the air. The smells of pumpkin spice and everything nice is everywhere.  You and I sit on the porch welcoming the Autumn dawn. It’s that time of year again when I think of you most. Red, brown and yellow leaves falling around us and you holding me in your arms like a warm blanket on this Autumn day. Squeezing tighter and tighter, I can feel your heartbeat against my back. I can feel your warm breath on my neck, submerged in your embrace knowing that no one will ever love me in this way.

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réparer mon armure! “repair my armor”

A dear friend once told me to write no matter what I do just write.  Take five mins to write down any thought & do this everyday then before you know it that one sentence will be a paragraph then that paragraph will be a blog then reflect on that idea or thoughts and the process. 

Thank you Paulie for the sound advice, you are a truly great friend & a champion I am honored to have in my corner.

I say this because as of late I have been uninspired to do something I love to do.  Writing is my passion, I love to see the thought process behind the madness.  Taking one single idea turning it over to my imagination creating this world on a blank canvas that didn’t exist before.  I use to write clever, engaging blogs about reality TV stars the episodes they appear in and interviews or appearances.

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Moving at the Speed of Light

largeMoving at the speed of light. Floating high over the night sky. The white puffy clouds tries to greet me but only uttering a goodbye as I fly by to fast to stop to say hi. I’m moving so fast no time to slow down. A cool calm falls over me such gentle in nature & yet so familiar. I take advantage of this calm to look upwards the stars so tiny shimmering in the purple night like a diamonds bracelet.  Here in this place is always purple, always blue, always dark like my dreams of you. Light moving too fast, memory play a vanishing act disappearing right before your eyes. Any rational thoughts escapes the endless void of nothing. I can’t even remember my name. Will I ever see the light again?

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Guess Who’s Coming To Christmas Dinner

42155123-stock-vector-a-vector-illustration-of-people-having-dinner-party-togetherChristmas is that time of year where everything feels nice and cozy. People tend to be in a better mood. Yes of course there’s those who are a drag & those who are crooks but for the most part Christmas brings out that inner playful kid in all of us. Beside the rush of tackling the Christmas shopping, black Friday & cyber Monday preparing Christmas dinner is on everyone minds. As I put together my Christmas dinner menu, I got to thinking if I could have the ultimate Christmas dinner who would I invite as dinner guests? 

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Liebster Award Nominee

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Hello my fellow Bloggers, Writers & Storytellers, it’s with great pleasure to announce my lovely friend Kat at “TheBoozyHousewife.com” has nominated me for “Liebster Awards”.  This is my first time being nominated & I can’t tell you how thrilled, excited & overjoyed that Kat thought of me.  You can follow Kat on twitter (@theboozyhousewife) & check out her blogs at theboozyhousewife.com.  Thank you Kat for your support.  

I have posted my answers to Kat’s questions as well as posting my own questions for bloggers I have nominated below.  Before we get to those Q & A here’s a little history about The Liebster Award, the Rules & how you can pay-it-forward.

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Let’s Play A Game Of Chess…..

Do you recall a time of your life when you couldn’t wait to turn eight-teen. Finding your independence, being youthful & full of life was just how they say bees knees. Taking on multiple projects & still have the strength go get up go to that job that pays the bills.  Still being youthful does have some set backs.  You’re not quite sure who you are yet so you go through the first stage of adulthood exploring, exploring all the available options then about twenty-nine you think you got life all figure out.  You go off get married, start a family, secure a well paying job falling into a nice comfortable mid-class situation leaving all that spicy youthful mischief behind.

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Hurt

broken-heart-clipart-divorced-parent-8You will never admit you’re wrong. Sitting here having this last meal, this last drink with you I’m hearing everything but “I’m sorry for hurting you.” You and I our story ends here at this cafe and although I look deep into those ocean blue eyes, and just hope this is all a nasty dream apart of me wants to bite back. All the years I spent, time sacrificing my career to give you a home, family and love, you dare sit there and lay out how this ends.

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Today….

pexels-photo-55529Today you passed away without a whisper, without any mention, quietly without any notice. As we say goodbye, I look at you laying in this box not knowing who you truly are. Truthfully, I never really knew you other than what you displayed which is cold and distant. It didn’t have to be this way, but this mess is by design, your design. As I stand here with friends and family gathered to mourn your memory and somehow I’m expected to have some kind of reaction. I do have a reaction but it’s not the kind most here expect. How can I shed a tear for a man who when he divorced my mother he divorced me. And now twenty plus years later, now a adult with a family of my own, I’m standing here looking upon you in that box wondering did you miss me? Did you ever love me?

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When I Died

32749423-stock-vector-illustration-featuring-people-weeping-at-a-funeral-serviceLay me down to sleep here in this final of final resting place six feet deep.  All alone naked like the day I was born, here in the dark and cold I’m not afraid anymore.  I can hear faint voices whispering “I Miss You” spilling tears as if we were actual friends. Funny I never knew how much you cared. When I was alive you barely notice me.  I was a shadow among a sea of the beautiful people.  Faceless, nameless yes that was me. Everyone standing over me dressed in black, as if I’m the Queen and they’re my guard. Umbrella’s filling the sky protecting those from the elements that came to mourn me. Finally I am popular to all.

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Edit Button

Have you ever wonder if you had a “edit button” that you can push and reset you life would you push it?  I often think about how easy that would be to edit out the parts of life that are painful to face.  Of course that’s crazy, all parts of life are important. The good the bad and the ugly, feeling all of that is what makes us tick. However, if you had that option what part of your life would you edit?  A memory? A missed opportunity? This is the topic for today blog post “Edit Button”.

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The Brick Wall

 

To-bang-your-head-against-a-wallToday I hit a brick wall. Ran smack face first into this ten foot high wall. I took a step back licking my wombs only to discover this wall is nearly impossible to climb. Dynamic and dramatic as this situation is, I can only appreciate the blinders that cover my eyes. After spending hours trying to find a work-around, I sit and contemplate my next move. Exhausting every avenue, I begin to think how did I get here? Where did this wall come from? As I began to trace my steps back I notice something spectacular, the wall begins to crumble brick by brick tumbling down.

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Featured Bloggers

shutterstock_720876373I been a blogger off and on now for about ten years. I have reincarnated myself as many times a Madonna have reinvented herself.  One thing is constant and that’s writing.  I come to the realization that blogging is nothing more than having a conversation with yourself and hoping others join in. Sometimes it’s very difficult to come up with content that holds the reader attention. It takes skills, but in the end if you have your topic or idea of what to write everything kinda just fall into place. 

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Villain?

If you follow me on social media then you know this is a touchy topic but one that needs to be visited and revisited from time to time. This blog post is about LGBTQ community and what they face in Trump’s America. Now I understand that I said there’s not political chat in my blogs but hell bells this is important topic and as a blogger it’s my duty to share.

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Goodnight Stan Lee and Thank You

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Stan Lee

The world of nerds lost our hero, our rockstar Stan Lee. Stan has helped many of us generational awkwardly outcasts deal with the world by making being misfits cool. I was introduced to Marvel when my brother bought X-Men comic. I read that series and was hooked. I realized that these characters all had something in common although all the characters are misfits or outcasts they had each other creating a family or unlikely people. Fighting against a world who don’t accept their gifts, what amazing theme.

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Concerts

There’s not a person on this planet that hasn’t attended a concert.  Whether it’s rock, rap, r&b or classical we all love a good concert.  There’s something freeing about rocking out to your favorite artist.  Although the record is great there’s nothing like hearing your favorite song live.  This past weekend I finally got around to seeing “Bohemian Rhapsody” we all know that Queen took part in the Live Aid concerts back in the mid eighty’s  it was one of their highlighting moment.  To see the guys so electric, so energized is amazing.  That concert footage is the inspiration for this blog post “Concerts”.

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This Fear Within Me

I normally start my blog off with some witty line or some corn-ball jazz clever line for introduction, but for today’s blog post I thought I be joke-less because really there isn’t anything funny about “Cancer”. I was touched by many people’s stories of survival and how the process effected their lives that I am inspired and ready to share the fear or what I’m struggling with one year later.

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I Am Ready Now

Leaving you behind is not a easy thing to do. I unwillingly walk away from all that you once were.  I unwillingly walk away from all that you’ll never be.  This clock on the wall hangs frozen in time tells the story of your last goodbye.

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No one will ever love me like my mother

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Her Beautiful Smile

I seen her beautiful smile a thousand times over, in blue skies, in purple nights, in howling winds blows in scary delight. Her beautiful smile always standing watch like a lighthouse calling sailors home, protecting us from the upcoming storm. Her beautiful smile blocked all that is wrong with this scene. No shadows dance here only her beautiful light.

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Can One Be Truly Happy?

Life has a funny way of making things interesting.  This past week I was chatting with one of my best friends about life and she made the comment that I have changed and it’s good to see that I’m happy.  “Happy?” I replied? “Yes” she said “our conversations were at times dark and now it’s filled with hope for the future and confidence and happiness.”So many things has changed since the beginning of this year” she said and mentioned a concert I attended back in May. I got to thinking what is happiness?  What does that mean?  Can one be truly happy? this is the topic of today blog post.

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Highway of Life

Hello my Kings & Queens of social media, it’s been awhile since I written a full blown blog & today I am inspired. As I sit here listening to Selena’s “Como La Flor” trying vision what or should I say how I say what’s going on in my head. My co-workers crowned me the Queen of Metaphor to my surprise I’m like ok this is a honor I will enjoy so without further adieu today blog is about you got it my metaphor on life.

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These Eyes

Dancing in the light seeing you for the first time it would seems but these eyes has seen many versions of you. My weary eyes grows tired now. Old and not what they use to be but I still can see you my love dancing in the light. The heaviness falls over these eyes I’m in a fight to keep them open struggling giving it all I can.

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Looking Through My Rear View Mirror

Looking through my rear view mirror what do these tired eyes see? Cars, trees, people speeding fast past me.  The road ahead broken up concrete tell tales of the age that have seen many glories.  This road zipping underneath my car the double yellow lines waving goodbye.  I stare straight ahead realizing I’m looking into the future then I look back into the rear view mirror I see the past.

 

I Never Knew

Your tangy taste leaves me in chills.  Just when I can’t get enough, that last drop savoring flavor it’s pure gold to my tongue.  How did you get this good.  Years and years of practice I guess.  Perfecting that formula just right making your flavor such a delightful delight.  

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My Magical Glasses

Dad is taking me on a magical journey.  We’re going to get my magical glasses.  Dad said wearing these special glasses I would be able to see the world differently.  Seeing the world in different colors, I can watch them come alive.  

Orange, red, yellow and green starts to appear.  Streaking across the sky in rainbow formation. Puffy white clouds sits up taking audicence as the colors dancing competing to be seen.  So beautiful if I can reach out will I be able to touch them.  Colors across the sky boldly going where no one has dare to. I imagine Leprechauns performing a ceremonial dance excited, anticipating that pot of gold but does that really exists a pot at the end of the rainbow?  The whole day I played with the world and it’s colors, exploring, imaging see the world differently.

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