And the Oscar Goes Too

Today blog post is inspired by the Academy of Motion Pictures of Arts and Sciences and the bone-head decision to add a new category to gain better ratings and secure more viewership.

Oscars to Launch A New “Popular Film” Category: Article by Jenna Amatulli Huffington Post

And the Oscar goes too…… How many times have we heard that line and thought wow this movie just won for best picture and I never heard of it. I wonder how this is possible especially when there’s great performances in movies like Chris Evan in The Avengers Infinity War (2018) or Henry Cavill in Superman Man of Steel (2013) or Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman (2017) or Chadwick Boseman and Danai Gurira in Black Panther (2018). You would think that with the late Heath Ledger’s brilliant performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight (2008) winning the best supporting Oscar, that the Academy would be more open to nominating films of this caliber.

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Highway of Life

Hello my Kings & Queens of social media, it’s been awhile since I written a full blown blog & today I am inspired. As I sit here listening to Selena’s “Como La Flor” trying vision what or should I say how I say what’s going on in my head. My co-workers crowned me the Queen of Metaphor to my surprise I’m like ok this is a honor I will enjoy so without further adieu today blog is about you got it my metaphor on life.

imageRiding in a car driving down a highway of life. On this two lane highway you see the open road ahead is suddenly opening up into a four lane highway. Now overwhelmed with taking responsibility with the mess that is made in what appears to be a state of disarray, you try to take back control. The heart and mind are at odds, beginning a battle that neither wants to lose. So many missed opportunities, too many to count. You feel the crumbling road of concrete rumbling underneath your car, yes it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Looking for a quick exit, you realize this is your life. A series of consequences, you try desperately to navigate this rough road to no avail. On this road you experience self-doubt, self-pity and lack of confidence like fear you can smell this in the stale air. You a free spirit, won’t allow this madness capture you. You learn how to fly, soar high above the clouds although your wings have been clipped your spirit is still intact. The land, this four-lane highway won’t damper your spirit, you don’t need any confirmation to tell you how you are.

Driving down this highway, you see the open road ahead closing down back to a two-lane highway. You just weathered the storm of life. Now your ready for whatever life throws at you.

Remember to be kind and have compassion you never know what’s up ahead at the next turn.

 

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These Eyes

Dancing in the light seeing you for the first time it would seems but these eyes has seen many versions of you. My weary eyes grows tired now. Old and not what they use to be but I still can see you my love dancing in the light. The heaviness falls over these eyes I’m in a fight to keep them open struggling giving it all I can. I’m scared to close them for I won’t be able to see you my darling dancing in the light. Will you help me not be scared? Tell me how to be where you are, for I have not the heart or the strength to continue this fight. If I close my eyes forever will you be there? These eyes have seen many things but nothing as beautiful as you are my love.

This very short story is inspired by writing prompt #35 write about eyes.

Looking Through My Rear View Mirror

Looking through my rear view mirror what do these tired eyes see? Cars, trees, people speeding fast past me.  The road ahead broken up concrete tell tales of the age that have seen many glories.  This road zipping underneath my car the double yellow lines waving goodbye.  I stare straight ahead realizing I’m looking into the future then I look back into the rear view mirror I see the past.

 

Silence Isn’t Golden

He appeared to be kind and compassionate. Finally seeing me as his equal, interested in only my occupational skills and not the physical. I accept the invitation to the promotion but little did I know this promotion will cost me.

Day of the promotion announcement, I didn’t sleep. Nerves got the better of me. Lying next to my husband who is dead to the world, his snoring grows loudly, there’s no possible way sleep will be mines tonight. In anticipation I feel I haven’t prepared enough for this new opportunity. I’m up looking for the right suit again, the right pair of shoes. Lining my ducks in a roll, running through all possible questions pairing with the right answers, I found myself downstairs in the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I own the morning, sitting here in the dusk as the morning says hello, my family awakes. Vibrant and brilliant my hubby and the boys attempts to fix breakfast for this hard-working mom. French toast and bacon such a feat. Back up stairs standing in the closet giving a final look over I quickly and excited get dressed deciding on my black & light gray pinned striped suit paired with a light gray blouse, picking up my briefcase special made for me with my initials branded on. I’m heading downstairs seeing my loving husband my two sons staring up at me with a newfound respect yes momma going back to work. I survived the worst thing breast cancer and now I’m back in it to win it. Backing out of the driveway, I see my boys standing there the three of them waving goodbye.

Pulling into the parking structure, I quickly realize all my dreams and hard work will finally pay off today. Today I will be made partner. The first African-American woman partner at my firm. Into the elevator up up up I go the doors open to the eighty-seventh floor. The firm is full of life. People running everywhere it’s like a mini-city so vibrant. At my office door my assistant approaches with Starbucks and a stack of papers I’m holding the door open, we enter there we began our game plan. “Welcome back I should say and congrats partner” we both giggle I mean after all it’s her victory as well as mines. People coming in and out with well wishes and congratulatory messages, me very pleased, excited and overjoyed “thanks but let’s get back to work.”

Tick Tock the clock on the wall plays a game slowly counting down until my interview with the partners finally 11 o’clock interview time. Down the hall I go into the big double doors. Surprised there’s no partners attendees. Just the big boss standing at the end of his desk. Pretending to look over paperwork he’s shuffling through. I dare to utter a word but before I can complete my sentence he grumbles incoherently about the position. Recapping, rehashing what this position really is, it was like he was trying his best to scare me off. However, as always I reassured him that I’m up for the task. He asked me how badly do I want this position. I thought that was a curious questions. He seen the perplexed look on my face and he repeated the questions. Again reassuring him that I’m up for the challenge. Sit down he said,  as if I’m in trouble. He walks over pouring drinks whiskey I think, walking over to me sitting on the edge of his desk he hands me the glass and ask me again how badly do I want the job. What would I be willing to do. “Sir?” He sits the glass down leans over grabbing my face and planting a big fat wet tongue kiss. Shocked I slapped him.  He laughs and replied “Oh you like it rough” proceeds to unzip his pants reach over grabbing my face again this time pushing down toward his private area. I pushed away and I get up to walk out but before I can open the door he pushes it should and assured me that if I walked out and tell anyone my career is over. I opened the door and walked out. Disgusted and angry the whole day I was thinking about what happened to me and how many women he attacked. If they actually did what he wanted. I closed myself up, held up in my office blinds closed no calls no clients just me the daylight and my thoughts.

Later that afternoon it was announced that I’m the new partner. I have the vaguest idea why. I would like to believe I got the promotion because of my hard work but after this morning I am sure I got the position as a way to buy my silence.

Driving home all I can think about is how to tell my husband of twenty-tw years what happen. What would he say? I don’t know how to keep this secret, my dirty little secret. I got home seen my boys at the dinner table ready to eat I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

After accepting the promotion I felt dirty and disgusting.  I couldn’t imagine what he has done to other women. How far did he take it. I didn’t say a word not for a long time don’t know why I guess I was afraid of how I would be portrayed. The victim always is portrayed as a whore you know that mentality of thinking the victim asked for it. I read an article about Anita Hill and how she was doing and the event that changed her life.  I didn’t want to go through that putting my husband and sons in the spotlight so I kept quiet.

Fifteen years later, I am the CEO of the firm. We have seen many good and bad days. The monster has since retired and I don’t have to be reminded of his indiscretions anymore. I can now finally after all these years open my eyes and not be afraid to see. Here I am now making deals for my company and in this dealing making negotiations, I see a familiar face. An ex colleague who years ago left the company to start her own venture capital company. She and I sit for a glass of wine shooting the shit and out of nowhere she tells me what happened that lead up to her leaving the company. The story wasn’t pretty. He actually sexually assaulted. She informed me that she wasn’t the only one. He nearly killed her career because she filed a complaint. The company paid her off brought her silence as well.

After my drinks I decided to do research see how many women was assulted.  He would go on to assault over twenty-one women and 1 guy over his forty-six year reign. Although many of the stories are the same, I later found out the statute has run out only four women including myself have a case. Now it becomes a matter of choosing to have our lives and the lives of our loved one picked apart. I seen how men of power treat victims I wasn’t sure if I can handle that and I would have to tell my dirty little secret to my husband and how would he take it. Coming forth I would lose everything. I decided to come forth. I told my husband then my sons who are now married with families of their own.  My family was with me when I contacted the authorities.  They would be with me when I resign from my post and they are with me as I file a lawsuit against the company I once worked.

I am not afraid anymore. I can say out loud the things he has done to me and not be ashamed. I will no longer minimize his role in this nightmare.  

Some parts of this story is based on several people who have dealt with men of power with inappropriate behavior or sexual assault. We all know someone who is a victim. Coming forth takes guts no matter how long ago. Coming forth is the only way this will stop. If you know someone who is a victim and need help contact your local authorities. No more silence, no more fear. If you or someone you know is a victim of assault please contact your local authority or click on the link: #MeToo

 Your not alone.

 

Doubt

SelfDoubtLast night I went to sleep with all hopes and dreams filling my heart feeling so complete. I dreamt of an obtainable future, standing on my own paving a way in life a life I can be proud of.

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will”

Today I awake to the one motivation killer “Self-Doubt”.  Suddenly I’m filled with fear. Fearful of what my future I guess it’s very strange that one minute I’m hopeful next mintue I’m afraid.  This fear this self-doubt has gripped me hitting me right in the stomach where after first its numb then turns into knots really intense knots.  The stress of dealing with this is unbearable at times.

Why do I have these dangerous thoughts?  Why do I feel like my best isn’t good enough?  I realize that this journey isn’t going to be paved with streets of gold.  In order to get to the other side I must go through the lows.

Now I will turn on my halo in the darkness.  It will shine brightly and lead me out of this shadow.  I am not a failure and the stress of self-doubt I placed upon myself.  I will take charge and ownership of my life and tomorrow well only God knows about tomorrow.

And the saga continues…….

 

I Never Knew

Your tangy taste leaves me in chills.  Just when I can’t get enough, that last drop savoring flavor it’s pure gold to my tongue.  How did you get this good.  Years and years of practice I guess.  Perfecting that formula just right making your flavor such a delightful delight.  

I tried to resist you, but that feeling of pleasure I get when I twist that top off pop awh the fizzy puff of air lets out a aroma nector of the Gods.  Once again I found myself engolfed in that devily sinful delicious first slip.  

I never knew Coke Zero can be this good.

Click here for more cool Coca-Cola products

 

My Magical Glasses

Dad is taking me on a magical journey.  We’re going to get my magical glasses.  Dad said wearing these special glasses I would be able to see the world differently.  Seeing the world in different colors, I can watch them come alive.  

Orange, red, yellow and green starts to appear.  Streaking across the sky in rainbow formation. Puffy white clouds sits up taking audicence as the colors dancing competing to be seen.  So beautiful if I can reach out will I be able to touch them.  Colors across the sky boldly going where no one has dare to. I imagine Leprechauns performing a ceremonial dance excited, anticipating that pot of gold but does that really exists a pot at the end of the rainbow?  The whole day I played with the world and it’s colors, exploring, imaging see the world differently.

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Nostalgic Beauty Escapes You

Punching, Biting, Screaming, Kicking and Fighting I’m crushed under the heavy weight of your words. Ugly, Fat, Stupid, Useless, Weak are the words utter from your mouth. Every punch is like a knife cutting deeper and deeper until I can’t bleed no more. In grandeur style you draw back your bow ready for the kill carefully crafting your next move.

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The Frog or The Prince

What came first the frog or the prince? It’s a question that has been asked many times but no one can seem to find a correct answer well as if there is one. Today blog post is inspired by that age old question “What came first the frog or the prince?”

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Reflection

Looking out of this car window I have seen better days. The sun rays shines yellow then orange. The glow reflecting all the tiny specks of dust that have settle here. Each speck respresents a moment in time frozen on my windshield. If you can read them you will see a picture emerge, of a life span of love, loss, fight.  Each grain details a life of endurance reading like the lines running across a hands. 

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