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Warning: This blog contains language and topics related to mental health, suicide, self-harm and child abuse. Please be advised that the author of this blog and any invited guests are not therapists or medical professionals. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please seek immediate help by calling 911 or contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Remember, it is okay to not be okay, and help is available.
Hello friends and welcome back to Sunnylarue17.com! As we enter the month of mental health awareness, I am thrilled to have some incredible individuals join us in sharing their stories of struggle and awareness. Today, I am honored to introduce the remarkable Catherine Mellen, whose voice and experiences will undoubtedly touch your heart. In this blog post, we will explore the theme “Hello Darkness My Old Friend,” inspired by the iconic song by Simon and Garfunkel, which was later recorded by Disturbed. It is a fitting backdrop as we dive into Catherine’s captivating blog and delve into the depths of her journey. But first, let’s take a moment to truly understand the incredible person behind the words.
Catherine Mellen is not only a talented writer and author, but also a fearless survivor and the creator of the impactful blog, Shatter The Silence/A Life Given To Me. Through her courageous storytelling, Catherine sheds light on her personal journey of overcoming the profound challenges of childhood abuse and trauma. Her blog, a testament to her resilience and determination, holds nothing back as she navigates the complexities of her past. As a published author, Catherine has penned remarkable works such as Survivor’s Mind: A Childhood Tragedy Under A Mother’s Watch: Part One 1975 – 1982 Lowel, Massachusetts:, A Life Given to Me: Part Two: 1982-2019 Lowell Massachusetts, Survivor’s Mind: When Childhood Trauma and Poetry Collide, and the beautiful collection of poems titled Christmas In Poetry Land a personal favorite. Her poignant words not only touch the hearts of her readers but also serve as a source of inspiration and healing. Get ready for Catherine’s upcoming release, “Understanding Childhood Trauma, Do You Understand It Now?” slated for the fall of 2023. This highly anticipated book dives deep into the profound impact of childhood trauma, inviting readers to reflect on and comprehend this often-misunderstood subject. When Catherine isn’t advocating and shedding light on important issues, she cherishes quality time with her beloved daughter and grandchildren. Hailing from Lowell, Massachusetts, Catherine is immensely proud of her Irish heritage, and you can often find her taking long walks through her community, drawing inspiration from the world around her. An avid journaler, Catherine utilizes this creative outlet to capture the essence of her experiences and emotions. Join me as we see through Catherine’s eyes a life of courageous tale of breaking free from the shackles of shame, secrets, and silence.
If you would like to connect and support Catherine, here are her social media links.
Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again. Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping.And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains. Within the sound of silence. A song driven to give companion to the voices in one’s head.A darkness we try to forget, put behind us and move on from until suddenly… Hello darkness my old friend. It comes with the silence, then the anger, followed by resentment only to end with, “What did I do to deserve this?” Why did I have to hurt in silence? Why did I have to live in darkness? Why did I have to suffer, deal, move on, forget or put it behind me, alone? I believed it was what I was suppose to do. Society, family and friends. It was the way of the times in the 1980s and 1990s. I needed proof and I wasn’t enough proof because they wanted more proof. My birth mother and two older siblings were my proof. But they were sick of me bringing it up.I sat with darkness my old friend for too long. I stood my ground, saw some light and I distanced myself to save myself. But now what? As positive as I tried to live there were always many, many times when I found myself stuck in an emotion and I held it in as long as I could, but he always paid me a visit… Hello darkness my old friend. I would get so mad at myself for remembering, for hurting and for crying over the same damn thing over and over again… My Damn Childhood.But it was my darkness that helped me see it was so much more than just my childhood. With the help of darkness my old friend… I was able to see how I deserved to be treated. I was able to see I deserved acknowledgement. I was able to see I deserved to be heard. I was able to see I could keep my darkness as my old friend.Many mornings, days and nights, darkness was my only friend.
Until one day, in my late forties my old friend darkness became my bright light. Through my darkness I found strength, I found courage and I found support from everyone except the ones who didn’t care I lived in darkness for all those years. They only cared I lived in silence. I learned a lot on my own and learning to welcome my darkness was a tough lesson I had to learn. It was one too many trick questions, a sound, an image, a trigger… I cried and cried as I sat with my darkness until I made my darkness my old friend.When my darkness now visits, I let the tears fall instead of getting mad at myself for crying. I remind myself, ‘It’s ok to cry.’ I remind myself, ‘They treated me wrong.’ I remind myself, ‘My God, I’m only human.’ And suddenly darkness became my old friend.
Throughout life we are all subject to darkness. We lose loved ones to death, we struggle to belong, we fight to survive, we hope, pray and wish everyday. Adding depression, PTSD, C-PTSD and any form of mental health to the already heavy plate life throws at us can make anyone’s darkness seem like the enemy. But you are not sitting with an enemy, you’re sitting with your darkness. Sometimes your darkness is the friend that helps you see the light. And if there is no light, that’s okay.
Sitting with your darkness can always be the oldest friend you have, but also the most honest one ♡
Thank You for reading me and be sure to catch…
Hello darkness my old friend (Sound Of Silence) by Simon and Garfunkel or my favorite by Disturbed https://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4
Peace and Blessings to all ♡
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