Tag: Mental Illness

AMY AND ADAM

Interlude

Hello, I’m Sunny Larue known as the professional martini drinking blogger and diagnosed with bipolar. For my last blog post of twenty-nineteen, I thought I would finish a draft from summer where struggling with my mental state was very apparent. It’s no secret that one major contributing factors to my triggers is work related. This episode is a result of the stress of dealing with a workplace bully, unorganization of a temporary desk move and the loud sound of office renovation. Because of the chaos, I couldn’t jot down my thoughts in my journal instead I used post-it-notes and paper napkins. Once I pieced together my thoughts this blog took shape. Apologizing in advance my thoughts were all over the place. This happens when one is in the throws of a full blown bipolar episode.

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FIRE AND RAIN

This post is of the opinion of Sunny Larue. Sunny Larue is not a licensed healthcare physician nor gives any medical advice. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm call 911 or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255

Introduction

Hello all you magical wizards of words, today’s post is inspired by writing prompt “sorrow” and the effects of this emotion has on the mentally health challenged.  This short was written when I was seventeen a year after I was diagnosed. James Taylor music heavily influenced my writings Fire and Rain is one song that I related to. The line “Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you” is in reference to childhood friend Suzanne Schnerr suicide. I tweaked it a bit but it’s interesting to see the difference in feelings from the late eighties as a teen and today as a forty something adult.

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MIRROR MIRROR

Introduction

Spinning around on the turntable, as we (my friend and I) sit listening to High N’ Dry album by Def Leppard in celebration of a new 2020 world tour featuring the reunion of Motley Crue and Poison, Mirror Mirror, Look Into My Eyes comes on and we’re in awl of the amazing sound blaring from the speakers.  Joe’s sings “Gonna have to smash the glass”, my buddy says to me “it’s a fool who can admit defeat.” My response is “if this is true then why do we run from our reflection in the mirror?” Hello all you Santa’s little helpers today’s blog is inspired by Def Leppard’s song Mirror Mirror Look Into My Eyes and why we run from our reflection in the mirror.  There are many reasons why we run but the main reason is we don’t like to face the truth.

High N’ Dry (1981)

Def Leppard
“Mirror, Mirror (Look Into My Eyes)”
Mirror mirror
Just watchin’ with your eye of glass
You’re just a fortune wheel
With something that I wanna ask
Mirror mirror
Got my fate lyin’ in your hands
You’re the fool, you’re the juggler
Hangman and lover, you’re not like no other
Take a look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
Take a look into my eyes
Tell me is it true?
Take a look into my eyes
Oh when I look at you
Take a look into my eyes
Tell me is it me?
Is it really me?
Mirror mirror
Gotta know just what you see
My crystal ball
You’re lookin’ so sly and so sleazy
Mirror mirror
Hangin’ there with that crack in your eye
You make me stumble, make me blind
Time after time and line by line
[Repeat Chorus]
Mirror mirror
Oh tell me
You’re the fool, you’re the juggler
I ain’t met a lover, you’re like no other
Take a look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
Take a look into my eyes
Tell me is it true?
Take a look into my eyes
Oh it just can’t last
Take a look into my eyes
Gonna have to smash the glass
Take a look into my eyes
Take a look into my eyes
Take a look
Take a look into my eyes
Oh yeah
Take a look into my eyes
Take a look into my eyes
Take a look into my eyes
Take a look into my eyes
Take a look
Take a look into my eyes
Look into my eyes
Take a look into my eyes
Tell me if it’s me
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby

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Can’t Stop Running

We run from the abuse. We run because of the hurt. We run to escape the pain of living. We drown our sorrows with drugs, drink and other bad behaviors. We run because it’s easy. Face it no one willingly accepts the hard way but we run into situations that isn’t the best taking a lifetime to learn the lesson. We don’t stop to think “is this what I should be doing?” It’s hard to hold the mirror up and actually love the person staring back.

Pump 1989

Janie’s Got A Gun
Aerosmith
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it’s the sound of my gun.
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it’s the sound Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Her whole world’s come undone
From lookin’ straight at the sun
What did her daddy do?
What did he put you through?
They said when Janie was arrested
they found him underneath a train
But man, he had it comin’ Now that Janie’s got a gun
she ain’t never gonna be the same.
Janie’s got a gun, Janie’s got a gun
Her dog day’s just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it’s untrue.
What did her daddy do?
He jacked a little bitty baby
The man has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under the lightning and the
thunder knew that someone had to stop the rain
Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Her dog day’s just begun
Now everybody is on the run
What did her daddy do?
It’s Janie’s last I.O.U.
She had to take him down easy and put a bullet in his brain
She said ’cause nobody believes me.
The man was such a sleeze.
He ain’t never gonna be the same.
Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Everybody is on the run

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Facing The Flaws

Facing up to flaws that every human processes is down right scary especially for those who suffer from mental health. Speaking from personal experience, I sometimes see an ugly reflection. Sometimes when I look at my reflection I see sorrow, pain, hurt and distrust. I don’t know why that is. I went from being in a bubble, to introvert to a social person and to have this view is really iscine. I do have low self esteem but not in the way most views self esteem. My Achilles heel is my Chum.  I believe wholeheartedly that relationships and my Chum is a cocktail not worth drinking. No man on this planet would ever want to be in a relationship with such an ugly disturbed person. No one would want to have a friendship with someone who can’t properly articulate coherent sentences. When I express this side of my Chum to family and friends I get this “it’s not rejection because of your looks or Chum but you are intimidating and strong willed and most people have a hard time dealing with that.” Really? The truth is I’m bipolar, my highs and lows are a daily struggle.  One day I see beauty the next I see ugly. I also know that what you put out in the universe that’s what people see and react to. It’s a matter of what mask to wear when trying to run from the reflection in the mirror. 

“Run Boy Run”
Woodkid
Run boy run! This world is not made for you
Run boy run! They’re trying to catch you
Run boy run! Running is a victory
Run boy run! Beauty lays behind the hills
Run boy run! The sun will be guiding you
Run boy run! They’re dying to stop you
Run boy run! This race is a prophecy
Run boy run! Break out from society
Tomorrow is another day
And you won’t have to hide away
You’ll be a man, boy!
But for now it’s time to run, it’s time to run!
Run boy run! This ride is a journey too
Run boy run! The secret inside of you
Run boy run! This race is a prophecy
Run boy run! And disappear in the trees
Tomorrow is another day
And you won’t have to hide away
You’ll be a man, boy!
But for now it’s time to run, it’s time to run!
Tomorrow is another day
And when the night fades away
You’ll be a man, boy!
But for now it’s time to run, it’s time to run!

Until Next Time….

Word Count: 1301

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE OR SELF HARM CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Help is only a phone call away.

For more information contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline directly phone number listed above.

Hello February 2019 FEATURED BLOGGERS

Hello Kings & Queens of the Social Media, this is the start of a new year & a start to a new adventure for my blogging website.  As I grow deeper into this beautiful community of blogging, I’m finding some amazing bloggers, writers & storytellers that produces inspiring material.  This post is about showcasing these wonderful wizards or words.  Please join me in celebrating them & their writings.

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ONE DARK PLACE

WARNING: This post is of an opinion and based on personal experience. Sunny Larue is not a licensed physician or licensed therapist. The information used for this blog is on research basis only. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm, dial 911 or local emergency operator or contact National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255. NSPH services are open to the public 24/7. If you are struggling with mental illness, mental disorder or know someone who is struggling and need more information or assistance contact your local Church, Mental Health Clinic, local Hospital or Healthcare Provider.

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Introduction

Hello all you beautiful words commanders, this is typically how I start off my blogs but with this post I want to try a different approach. This blog will showcase five short stories. These stories are a reflection of a person’s fight for survival in a world of darkness of gray. The lines between reality aren’t blurred but the interception of  one’s idea of what reality is. Like a series of freeways or highways that leads you back home. Feedback is always welcome but keep in mind this particular blog is intense. These stories are based upon real people who reads my blogs. All I ask is to be respectful. 

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UNLIKELY HERO

This site contains affiliate links to products. Sunny Larue may receive a commission for purchases made through these links (at no additional cost to you).

Introduction

Hello all you beautiful commanders of words, today post will focus on inspiration. I am a believer of whatever you put out in the cosmos it comes back to you ten folds. If you display bad habit of putting people down that negative vibe will rebound back to you ten times. The goal is to be kind. We’re human and nothing about us is perfect with that being said my inspiration for this piece comes from an unlikely source.

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ROUTE 66

September is National Suicide Prevention month. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm seek help immediately by dialing 911 or local emergency service or calling National Suicide Prevention Lifeline hotline 800-273-8255.

For more information contact
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Introduction

Hello all you freedom writers, today’s blog comes courtesy of unlikely and unconventional inspirational moments. When you think of inspiration most people think positive thinking or positive feelings or a special personal memory that feels them up with joy however, after spending time alone on isolation island, I found these inspirational moments aren’t as positive but more dark in nature. I need to understand where this unhealthy destructive behavior began and how to better manage my Chum because my episodes are getting more frequently intense.

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HELLO, MY NAME IS

This blog is an option and that option is based upon personal experiences. I am not a license Doctor or healthcare professional. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm call 911 or Suicide Prevention Hotline (800) 273-8255 immediately. Should you have any questions or concerns please contact your local hospital, health clinic, Church, healthcare provider or research online for more information.

Introduction

Hello all you rock n’ rollers of words, today blog post is addressing those misconception that comes with having Bipolar Disorder. Where to start this blog? Hello my name is Sunny Larue blogger, Martini admirer, music lover and I am diagnosed bipolar disorder. I think this post will be my third time going into detail about my condition. I know with this blog it will be more technical than personal. A good starting point is I get asked many questions about my condition but the common four questions are:

What Is Bipolar?

What Type Do I Have?

Why Do I Call My Bipolar My “Chum”?

How Do I Manage Episodes?

September is National Suicide Prevention month.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm seek help immediately
by dialing 911 or local emergency service
or calling National Suicide Prevention Lifeline hotline 800-273-8255.

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JUST BECAUSE

September is National Suicide Prevention month.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm seek help immediately
by dialing 911 or local emergency service or calling
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline hotline 800-273-8255.

Introduction

Why do people make comments about race when it comes to listening to music? Music has no color barriers. Music transcend through time crossing all realms of society. Hello warriors of words today blog come from a bone head who seem to think that rock n’ roll is only for white people ears. I had another idea for today blog but this incident on social media completely changed my thought. As if abuse in the workplace isn’t important I learned that this topic is just as important. I hope to educate an get the conversation started. I want to point out a few things…

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