“The Stigma of Depression” Ashley Laderer
Today I feel the weight of the world crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. This heaviness is like an underdog wrestler pinning down an opponent winning the match. Unlike the wrestler, this is a match I won’t win today. This weight slowly grows & morphing into an uncontrollable desperation. Some days this desperation is far off in the distant allowing me tiny bit of joy but today this desperation I often refer to as “my chum” is here to stay.
Continue reading “MY CHUM”
My big brother, so gentle, so kind taught me how to ride a bike zoom, zoom flying down the big hill we go. My big brother, so lovable, so wise taught me how to count 1,2,3,4,5. My big brother so fun, so sweet he sits next to me when I am sick reading to me my favorite book so neat. My big brother, so warm, so endearing loves to give big hugs squeezing tightly like a bear hugging a tree ugh I can’t breathe. One day my big brother stopped being so gentle, so kind. He stopped being so lovable, so wise. The big brother I come to know the one who taught me all I know cease to exist.
My big brother, who listens to the voices inside his head tells him to do bad things. My big brother, consumed by hallucinations & delusions sits in his dark room confused & withdrawn from the world. My big brother a victim of “schizophrenia”, a word so big & hard to pronounce this baby sister is powerless to stop the dark. My big brother whom I adore sits alone in the dark facing every hellish nightmare, the noise too loud for him to ignore.
Fight you must fight to keep your mind I say, but mental illness doesn’t work that way. You see the voices now controls his every mood. My family once full of life is scared to move. One step out of place we will see schizophrenia ugly face. It’s a dance I rather not participate. The love I have will always remain no matter what face schizophrenia say it claims. I love all of my big brother the dark, the insane & the good. This baby sisters misses her big brother.
This short story is inspired by mental illness awareness. One out of five people will suffer from mental illness. We all are affected one way by someone who suffers from schizophrenia, bipolar & other mental disease. We must show compassion, patience & love to help our loved one deal with this disease. For more information on mental illness or need assistance please click on the link👉👉 Mental Health Services.
Please show your support for my friend Nicole Carmen. Her website (Navigating Darkness) deals with the subject of mental illness. Her blogs are vivid on how she if affected by mental illness & she and advocate for mental illness awareness. You can follow her on social media (ItsNicoleCarmen). And check out her project for Mental Awareness & how you can participate (The Mental Health Awareness Project) & twitter (officialMHAP).
Your not alone.
Punching, Biting, Screaming, Kicking and Fighting I’m crushed under the heavy weight of your words. Ugly, Fat, Stupid, Useless, Weak are the words utter from your mouth. Every punch is like a knife cutting deeper and deeper until I can’t bleed no more. In grandeur style you draw back your bow ready for the kill carefully crafting your next move. The nostalgic beauty escapes you. Your soul once beautiful filled me heart with joy and hope. Your eyes danced like diamonds glimmering in the midnight sky. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do, nowhere I would go. Hanging on your every word as the gospel, now I just hang waiting for the noose to grow tighter calling for the executioner complete this end.
Continue reading “NOSTALGIC BEAUTY ESCAPES YOU”