Tag: Mental Illness

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL

D I S C L A I M E R! I am not a licensed healthcare professional. This blog is based on my own personal opinion and experience and not to be used as a self diagnosis guide. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, self harm or showing any symptoms of depression; SEEK MEDICAL ASSISTANCE FROM A LICENSE HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL or contact your local {Police Department}, {Fire Department}, {Hospital} or contact one of these facilities listed below or dial 9 1 1;

Vantage Point
National Institute of Mental Health
Substance Abused and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA) 

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL”
Advertisements

SURVIVING THE CHAOS, Warning Signs of Bipolar Depression

Hello all you masters of words, today I’m feeling a bit down and under the weather.  This week has been very tough in fact, this month has been very tough.  I feel like my words aren’t being heard and I’m falling deeper into my depression.  I put on a brave face, its all an act.  Whenever someone ask how I am doing my generic response is “I’m doing just fine” clearly not true. I should get the Academy Award for best fake-smile. I’m far from being fine. I’m far from being normal, I mean what is normal?  The truth is I’m scared, I feel beat-up and I’m worn-out.  I am terrified of the things I can’t control.  I blogged about this before where there’s such anxiety of things that haven’t happened that I spend weeks trying to control. It’s like your on a train the deer on the track you see it but this little time to react. Just buckle up and hope for the best.  I’m so worn-out I been play at this game with a defeater’s attitude.  The constant fighting is wearing me down, trying to be everything to everyone.  Struggling is a term that is often used when describing an bipolar depression episode, however, I am beyond struggling I’m drowning. No rock I can crawl under will help hide the pain I am in. 

🍸🍸🍸

main-qimg-0f879e1566afa5535ed6b523ba914d00-c
The Difference Between Sadness & Depression

Sadness vs Depression: Most people who don’t understand the difference between depression and sadness often get the two confused. It’s very difficult to articulate what an episode is like. When you are in the grips of a full on bipolar episode it’s difficult to navigate the muddy waters of dangerous.  These dangerous waters consists of emotions of feeling angry, helpless, guilt and for some ending it all.  When you are sad you get a little down but you are able to bounce back. Depression is quite the opposite. Your dealing with multitude of emotions all at once and your whole being can’t quite get a grip on reality.  Basicly is like a skydriver taking that jump confident the shoot will open only realizing halfway down your in trouble and there’s no one there to help break the fall. This is how I been feeling lately.  This feeling is what I call the uncontrollable factor.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “SURVIVING THE CHAOS, Warning Signs of Bipolar Depression”

BITE YOUR LIP

I come to the conclusion when writing or blogging a thought or an idea to be honest.  When I write my words are a result from something traumatic in my life. These moments are like reflections.  Just like one would see a reflection in a mirror, words for a blogger/writer are just as such.  I find myself staring more and more at my words which are very emotional, raw, powerful and sometimes painful. Sometimes these emotions can be very difficult to face. It’s especially difficult putting yourself out on social media where the trolls thrive.  I often ask myself “is it worth the risk?”

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “BITE YOUR LIP”

SISTERHOOD

Hello all masters of words, I normally start my blogs or short stories with some clever catchphrase but I decided to take a different approach because this subject is a touchy given the right conditions, can be a trigger for my manic-depressive state aka my “chum”.  I am like most women, I enjoy watching daytime television specifically talk shows but as I get deeper into watching I notice the all women panel engaging in relentless bickering and rude nasty behavior. Watching this type of behavior is very stressful.  I got to thinking with all the hatred and petty fights is the value of sisterhood over?

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “SISTERHOOD”

HELP ME

girl-1098612__340I don’t know where I am in the grand scheme of things. My head feels like a merry-go-round spinning in circles a never-ending circle. I want to stop, I need to stop but I can won’t you help me.  Everything hurts, every words, laugh and cry is painful too sensitive to act too sad to be happy I need love to light the way.  I am a prisoner to this fate bleak drowning deeper into the sea of void sinking lower than Moby Dick’s occupants.  Not lacking in faith, wishing for a band-aid to cover the scab I’m slowing picking at, screaming in a crowded room with no one looking up not evening giving a glance I’m here with this demon.  A constant companion these days speaks to me in ways no one can comprehend.  Scared no, just concerned that my mind is no longer my own.  Fighting the good fight staying above water in the hopes that one day this dynamic dance will be done.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “HELP ME”