If you or you know someone struggling with thoughts or suicide or self harm please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Staffers are there ready to help you get back on track. Remember your not alone.


Original schedule post date: March 5, 2020

I have come up with clever names to identify many faces of my bipolar disorder. I come to realize that having metal disorder is scary to some people. It doesn’t mean the person who is struggling is a bad person nor does it mean that people don’t care. It means having a disorder like bipolar is something that is unknown and misunderstood. I find that by giving my disorder a name makes the disease more human like therefore people are willing to listen and understand and not be so judgmental. When I wrote this blog post I was working at an office environment that was very unhealthy. These thoughts were written as a result of a lunch date. I felt I needed to be transparent and honest if I was to peruse a heathy relationship. I’m lucky to have a new friend who is compassionate and is interested in learning more about the struggles of mental health. De-army, defusing along with a little humor can prevent an uncomfortable situation.

Amy & Adam
Original post date December 19, 2019
For my last blog post of twenty-nineteen, I thought I would finish a draft from summer where struggling with my mental state was very apparent. It’s no secret that one major contributing factors to my triggers is work related. This episode is a result of the stress of dealing with a workplace bully, inorganization of a temporary desk move and the loud sound of office renovation. Because of the chaos, I couldn’t jot down my thoughts in my journal instead I used post-it-notes and paper napkins. Once I pieced together my thoughts this blog took shape. Apologizing in advance my thoughts were all over the place. This happens when one is in the throws of a full blown bipolar episode.


Hey Amy. Forgive me for being a little hesitant for introduction. I can’t say you’re a friend of any kind because you are impossible to deal with. I question your motives. You constantly popping your noise into situation where you don’t belong. It’s not randomly but more like an calculated assassination. Always feeding of my pain and my fears. Just when I think “Oh wow I’m in control of my emotions” there you are staring back at me causing me to doubt myself. Everyone know you by another name “Anxiety“. Hello all you Gen-Xers, Millennials and Boomers of words, today’s post is inspired by Anxiety an raw emotion that dominates the lives of people struggling with mental health.

“A N X I E T Y”
NOUN; a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.


You heard the expression “get on the round-about”? Honestly who willingly want to get on the round-about of mental health. Dealing with Annie is a rollercoaster ride from hell. Imagine this, you’re on a trip to a place that’s unfamiliar. You get there and learn you have to drive. The driving system is opposite from what you’re use to. Doin well, your bopping along and next you find yourself on this round-about. Your stuck, gripped by fear you can barely move. You drive around and around a continue circle waiting for that moment to exit. Once you gather your nerves you finally exits only to find there’s another round-about up ahead. It’s a repeat cycle that sucks.

“Causes of Anxiety”
Medical Reference
Reviewed by Smitha Bhandari MD on
April 16, 2018


There’s a difference between repeat cycle and having a bad day. There’s a difference between sadness, having the mean blues, depression and anxiety. Many civilians (non-mental health strugglers) don’t seem to get this concept. Most people think of depression as having the the blues or just being sad. Just like there’s a difference between different strain of the flu. Mental Disorders have a way of consuming every ounce of your body. From the inners to the outer. Giving the perfect conditions, Annie can be the storm.

The main cause of Anxiety is STRESS!
Triggers of stress;
Work Place
Home Environment
Social Settings


Finally I don’t want to end this post on a sour note.  There’s tools one can use to help to feel better. It’s a matter of trading the bad for the positive. Nothing will end the cycle of Annie but these tools can help reduce the symptoms.

  • Healthy Conversations– Talk to someone you trust in a safe environment about what’s going on is a big stress reliever.
  • Indulging In Hobbies- Having hobbies is a wonderful tool. It gives focus and keeps the mind & body occupied/busy relieving stress and giving a sense of purpose.
  • Music- Whether of your a listener or writing music is a great stress reliever. Music is a mood changer giving a euphoric sense of pleasure and happiness.
  • Get Moving- Get out of the toxic environment.
  • Go for….
    • a Walk
    • a Drive
    • a Bike Ride
    • attend Church Function or take that long over due vacation/holiday
    • Attending Group Therapy- Listening to others sharing their stories of struggle is therapeutic.

Everyday is a struggle, with a positive attitude and the support of love ones there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

Other Related Blog Posts:
Hello, My Name Is
Uncontrollable Chaos
Diary Of A Manic Depressive
Crash Diet For The Mind

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