Originally posted July 18, 2018
Hello everyone, I don’t know where to start in regards to this blog post. This issue has been a thorn in my side for a long time all my adult life. I am a social butterfly but this has been a topic of conversation too many time. Let me start with this, I really don’t like it when my “friend” introduce me as “oh meet my black white friend”. REALLY, that’s how you’re gonna roll? Reading through the comments on my social media (sunnylarue on facebook), I notice a few people don’t get why this is such an issue for me and why I get so offended. I thought this would be a good blog to chat about.
Let’s Have A Chat Ms. Social Butterfly; Rencontrez mon ami noir et blanc French for “Oh Meet My Black White Friend” I am one of twenty-six people in this group of friends, friends we have been for over ten years plus (sorry for sounding a bit yoda-ish), we go back to Jr High School and Grade School, this one person always introduce me as the “black white friend”. Always singling me out. In this group my friends are diverse. She goes on to say “this is one I told you about who loves Def Leppard, who don’t like watermelon. Have you ever met a black person who don’t like watermelons? She don’t like rap music she don’t speak slang (ebonics) and she only dates white men”. This friend is Armenian who is married to a white Irish guy, so you would think given her background she would know better. At first I thought maybe she has something against me or don’t like me or something I did that I don’t realize I’ve done, there’s a underlining thing that we need to work out but after having numerous conversations about this issue she continues to say these things. She just don’t get it.
False statement; To say I only day one race is comical at best. Besides, my dating preference is my business. I don’t go out of my way just to date one race. I look for the values of treating a woman (me) like a lady and what’s wrong with that? I shouldn’t have to explain this to a “friend”. When I look at the man I’m with I see a good hard-working honest man. I certainly don’t see color. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone least of all a person calling themselves my “Friend”. Is this hurtful yes it could be considering the nature of the relationship and we’re not that close anymore but it’s an annoyance.
Not All Black People Tap Dance For Watermelon (thank you Kim M.); There’s nothing wrong with anyone not liking certain things. Just because the color of my skin is dark doesn’t mean I’m a stereotypes to the things associated with my race. Music shouldn’t have any labels but since we’re discussing labels I like what I like if you clarify that as “white music” then fine. BTW I like rap as well as country look the point I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone. I don’t answer to anyone but myself. I resent the fact that I’m even doing this blog. To continue with my point, who speaks Ebonics these days? Ebonics it’s not a language. In the professional world of employment no CEO or hiring manager will hire someone speaking Ebonics. I didn’t get my job with a fortune 500 environmental firm solely on my speaking “Ebonics”skills. Forget about my seven certifications needed to maintain my job, forget about my attendances awards, forget about my college education no it’s my ability to communicate in Ebonics that my employer found attractive.
I write this blog not out of hurt but out of anger and frustration. Frustration because a friend would do this to me time again even after many conversations. Anger because it pisses me off that she feels this way by singling me out in front of the group making me be the topic of conversation or water-cooler talk. Now on display I have to defend my feelings and give explanation to my life. Yes it’s very offensive, yes it’s very insensitive and yes this is a form of racism.
“With friends like this who needs enemies”
Update: She’s no longer a friend