Tag: Depression

ROAD RAGE

road rage clue flamesDriving down this road hatred fills my eyes.  Seeing red, I can feel the flames burning inside.  Waiting for that one slip up to release the beast that dances within. Cool as the morning dew sweetly fills the air, still can’t stop this living hell I am in. The more I drive down this dangerous road the more I feel alive and ready to fight.  Lying in wait, to pull the pin to explode. Looking in the rear view mirror I see the road I left behind.  Plenty of rocks left in my wake to over take that turn.  It’s all in the past now as I look forward still reeling with this anger.  Coming to the stop light blinker on left turn, then another left turn pulling into the drive of the fortress of destitute, realizing another nightmarish hell.  Seeing that brick wall I’m about to come crashing into just accepting this is my fate.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “ROAD RAGE”

Advertisements

HELP ME

girl-1098612__340I don’t know where I am in the grand scheme of things. My head feels like a merry-go-round spinning in circles a never-ending circle. I want to stop, I need to stop but I can won’t you help me.  Everything hurts, every words, laugh and cry is painful too sensitive to act too sad to be happy I need love to light the way.  I am a prisoner to this fate bleak drowning deeper into the sea of void sinking lower than Moby Dick’s occupants.  Not lacking in faith, wishing for a band-aid to cover the scab I’m slowing picking at, screaming in a crowded room with no one looking up not evening giving a glance I’m here with this demon.  A constant companion these days speaks to me in ways no one can comprehend.  Scared no, just concerned that my mind is no longer my own.  Fighting the good fight staying above water in the hopes that one day this dynamic dance will be done.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “HELP ME”

UNCONTROLLABLE CHAOS


uncontrollable thoughts Uncontrollable thoughts I have many of them. I’m a manic-depressive, what do you expect. These thoughts seem to come out of nowhere causing great distress.  I find myself at the of the pen staring at pages of lists I created out of nowhere and for no apparent reasons.  It’s quite stressful trying to organize my chaotic thoughts.  My pattern is always the same which I found to be strangely ironic.  I will start an idea write it down spend time on it then lose interest.  When I go back I feel there’s nothing to go back too just a bunch of blah, blah. Sometimes I can’t keep things straight.  I feel like my head is a cork-board filled with thousands post-it-notes.  Every note is a piece of a puzzle I’m trying to put together.  Once the puzzle is complete I now have to find away to express these thoughts to the outside world in away that is healthy.  The stress is unbearable I’m thrown into a world that is dark with no light at the end of the tunnel.  All my thoughts are lost in the sea of nameless void prompting me to start all over. I really need to STOP and PAUSE because this adds to my stress level and heavens knows we do not need anything else adding to the state of confusion I already feel.

🍸🍸🍸

Continue reading “UNCONTROLLABLE CHAOS”